You have to love Thanksgiving. It's the one holiday where employers bestow upon their employees the ever coveted four day weekend. The extra days off gives people the opportunity to finally have some time to themselves and also a chance to visit with their friends, family and loved ones. It's also a great reason to over stuff your face and belly with delicious seasonal food.
In fact, emergency rooms across the country report that the highest number of 'Food Coma' cases occur on Thanksgiving. It is projected that there are thousands of cases of 'Food Coma' reported every Thanksgiving, but it is believed that number could actually be in the millions. Sadly, the majority of people who suffer from 'Food Coma' tend to crawl up on to their couches or into their beds and just agonize in silence. That is, if you can count groaning like a constipated bear the same as silence.
Luckily, 'Food Coma' is easily treated and doesn't last long. To me, really only the negative part of Thanksgiving weekend occurs on Monday when I notice that my belly has developed its own gravitational field. Today I looked at my belly and thought, 'I look like I am about to give birth to a hot air balloon".
Maybe it's just me, but I start to feel a little self conscious when I look like I'm smuggling two hams under my shirt. I'll be honest, I started to feel pretty crappy, but then I saw an ad on tv. It was for a new intense workout program that promised visible results within a week. "What's this," I said to myself out loud. And then I became worried for a second, because i was talking to myself. the good thing is, according Wikipedia, I only have to start worrying once I start answering myself. Good to know.
So, back to this new workout, I thought it was going to be an ad for PX90 or something like that. But it wasn't. This commercial showed me a work out I didn't even know existed. This workout work out not only promised to make my belly go away, but also to turn me into a ninja.
The workout, appropriately called, The Ninja Workout, takes exercising out of the home and gym and into the streets. It looks pretty intense. One image was of a lady doing one handed push ups on the edge of a roof. Another showed a guy climbing a 20 feet tall chain link fence. And the last one they showed was a guy jumping from one building wall to another.
I've always wanted to be a ninja, but i could never figure out how to go about it. So, it is pretty freaking awesome that i now have a way. It took about four seconds for me to pick up the phone and order the 20 DVD set. It only cost $300, so that's a pretty cheap price to pay for being a ninja.
The greatest thing is, the commercial promises that in about two months, I should be a fully trained ninja death machine.
I guess check back in two months and see if I'm breaking boards or just my arm. Hi-ya.
