Being crammed in an elevator is one of my least favorite things, and not just because I'm a little claustrophobic. It's such an uncomfortable situation. No one talks or even moves for that matter. They just stand there ignoring the people around them.As I stood behind these people I felt an urge to just scream or start a mosh pit. Something. Anything. When we finally escaped that little box of insane boredom I went right home and started thinking of some ways to make being in an elevator fun. And there is no better way to have fun then making the stuffy people you are trapt with a tad uneasy.
What I came up with are a few random scripts to use when stuck in an elevator with one or more 'boredom spewing life sucking' people. These little exchanges of dialogue will hopefully make your unwanted travelling companion hit the next floor button as soon as possible.
I plan on using a couple of these later today. Hopefully, I can convince my friend from yesterday to ride up and down the elevator a few times with me at some random office building so we can try some of these out. I'll let you know how it goes.
Script One
Person 1: Oh man, that Taco Bell we had last night is totally hitting me.
Person 2: (Wave your hand side to side a few times) Wow, that really stinks
Script Two
Person 1: Look at that guy. He would make a great sacrifice for our Summer Satanic Ritual.
Person 2: I wonder if he would bring ice cream.
Person 1: I'm going to ask him.
Script Three
Person 1: (Hold up brown bag) I just got that bath salt everyone is talking about
Person 2: Isn't that the stuff that will make you go all zombie and eat people?
Person 1: Yeah, but that wouldn't happen to me. Watch. (Open bag, stick finger in then put finger up to nose and inhale really hard.) See nothing hap....Oh, I don't feel so good. Suddenly, I am so hungry.
Script Four
Person 1: So my roommate was all being all crabby this morning.
Person 2: What about this time?
Person 1: He says I tried to strangle him in his sleep again.
Script Five
Person 1: So, I am going to go to the doctor for that pinched nerve.
Person 2: Pretty sore, huh?
Person 1: Yeah, sore. My stomach is hurts. It's hard to see out my left eye or hear things. I have all these white sores filled with pus and i think my back is turning green
Person 2: You might have two things wrong.
Script Six
Person 1: Do you think it's okay to go to the bathroom in an elevator?
Person 2: Why not. I did it in this very elevator yesterday. (point to where someone is standing.) Right over there actually.
Person 1: Nice
Script Seven
Person 1: So, you know how you have been thinking that your girlfriend has been cheating on you.
Person 2: I don't think she is. I KNOW she is! And if I ever catch the guy, God help him because I have no idea what I would do to him.
Person 1: Really, no idea. I mean, you must have a few right. What would you do?
Person 2: I really don't know. (pause) Why are you asking any way?
Person 1: (sigh and sound nervous when talking and fidget with your collar) um... well... you see...oh boy... okay, here it is. I am the one who has been... you know... with your girlfriend.
Script Eight
Person 1: Oh guess what. I'm pretty sure I'm a werewolf.
Person 2: Why do you think that?
Person 1: Well, do you know of anything else that would cause me to keep waking up completely naked in the forest?
Script Nine
Person 1: Did you hear that?
Person 2: Yeah, sounded like something snapped.
Person 1: Not good. You know last week another elevator this same building broke free and crashed.
Person 2: That sucks. Hey, let's jump up and down really hard a few times to see if it's broke.
Person 1: Okay
Script Ten
Person 1: Have you ever 'made out' with anyone in an elevator before?
Person 2: Um... Nope, I don't think I have.
Person 1: You wanna? I mean, no one will know but this guy and I'm sure he won't tell.
Person 2: Okay. Should we ask him to join.
Person 1: If you want.
