5 Things You Will Never Hear The Pope Say

  1,  Last night my friends and I stole a bunch of my mom's tampons so we could tie them together and make kick butt nun

Ugh. I can't believe I said that.

chucks.

  2.  Come on Mtv. I'm sick of waiting for you to air new episodes of Teen Mom.

  3. I need to man scape more often.

  4.  Hey you. Hey you. Pull my finger and I promise to bless you.

  5.  So, last night I met this girl at the bar and then her boyfriend showed up. Things got real... fast.

   

6 Things I Thought About While Driving Home

  1.  Do you think Bigfoot manscapes before going on a date? And if so, how does he know when to stop?

  2.  If McDonald's makes a special shake flavor for St. Patrick's Day why not one for Easter. Peeps shake?  Egg shake?  Chicken shake?

   3.  If there were less street lights on the road,  do you think more people would pick their noses?

  4.  If I could clone myself would I like and get along with me or would I think I was a total douche.

  5.  Why can't wars be decided using rock,  paper,  scissors,  lizard, Spock.

  6.  People say seeing a Robin is the first sign of Spring, but I say its seeing that first stretch of road construction