Girl Scouts of America and Drug Cartels... Not So Different

  It has recently been brought to my attention that no matter how punctual I think I am for work,  the brutal truth is that on most days I tend to punch in with mere seconds to spare. Today... wasn't any different.

  What WAS different was hearing the hushed whisper of my name as I came out of the locker room.  The voice whispering my name was so soft,  I wasn't even a 100% sure if someone was actually saying it or if I was just hearing things. That happens sometimes.

  Turns out I'm not crazy... or at least not any more than normal.  I'm just not all that observant.  Across from the locker room was one of the women I work with. She was hiding behind a few stacks of boxes holding a brightly colored pieces of paper.

 
  Given that she was whispering and hiding. I figured whatever she had to tell me needed to be kept on the down low. So, I hit the 'Jackal Switch' and crept over to her.

  Three minutes later, we both went our separate ways. Her, with $20 of my hard earned money and me, with a promise that tomorrow I will find six boxes of Girl Scout Cookies waiting for me in my locker.

  With all the Cloak and Dagger stuff, I had to laugh. I didn't feel like I had just bought cookies so much as six boxes of illegal drugs. Crazy thought, I know. That is until you think a little bit more and suddenly realize how truly similar the Girl Scouts of America are to drug cartels. 

  If you think I'm kidding, check out all the similarities I

came up with in just ten minutes.

     -  Both, girl scouts and drug dealers are just little parts in a much bigger organization.

     -  Both receive large shipments of products that they must distribute through out their organization in order to sell it.

     -  Both organizations use people to go out into the public to sell the product.

     -  Both can be found standing in front of stores, on some random street corner or where you work or at your school.

     -  Both sell addicting products.

     -  Both make you pay up front for a product you might not get for several days or weeks.

     -  Both try to get you to buy as much as their product as you can, even though you may not be able to afford it.

     -  Both products are considered to be unhealthy by doctors.

     -  Both run into trouble when they start using more of their product than they sell.

     -  Both get paid large amounts of money by people just for a little taste of their products.

     -  Both sell products that are only available once or twice through out the year.

     -  Both organizations don't tolerate when some other group or gang starts selling in their territory.

     -  Both sell products that can make a level headed adult screech like a crazed chimpanzee. 

     -  Both sell products that can make you either very happy or very sad.

     -  Both organizations don't do much in the way of advertising. They get most of their business through word of mouth and referrals.

 
 

Armstrong Advices, "Nut Up, People!"

  I will be the first to admit it, I don't always pay very close attention to the things going on around me. So, it should come as no surprise to anyone that for the last few days I thought it was Neil Armstrong who was being accused of lying, deceiving and betraying the trust of the people.

  The idea that Neil Armstrong finally said screw it and came forward to discuss the alien space crafts he saw while walking on the moon was mind blowing. When I found out all the fuss was really being made over Lance Armstrong, eh... let's just say it wasn't as exciting. (#sorrynotsorry)

  For those of you not familiar with Lance Armstrong, he is a world famous athlete who gained his popularity from winning the Tour De France an unprecedented seven times. A survivor of testicular cancer and makes that neat little yellow 'Livestrong' rubber bracelets that were all the rage a few years ago.

  Armstrong eventually decided to retire from racing and the public eye except for the occasional endorsement deal. Recently though, the public is once again trolling websites and searching news stations for information pertaining to Armstrong.

  Although, this time instead of searching for training tips or random bits of gossip about who he is dating, people are searching for information about Armstrong's alleged drug that may have given him an edge when it came to winning his 7 Tour De France's.

  From what I can gather, he is being accused of using steroids and having his blood 'boosted' with other drugs. Armstrong himself has admitted he did some bad things, but has not gone as far as to say or explain what those bad things are.

  Whatever he has been doing, was bad enough to get him stripped of his seven Tour De France wins and spot on Oprah Winfrey's show. You know you have messed up pretty big if Oprah wants to talk to you. Being told Oprah wants to interview you is like being told to go to the principal's office.

  I did a little research into what Armstrong is being accused of taking, and I came to the conclusion that he did not take the drugs to help him win the Tour De France, but for a more personal medical reason. This explains why has been so secretive about everything.

  In 1996, Armstrong underwent extensive surgery to remove the cancer from parts of his brain and testicles. A year later, Armstrong was declared cancer free, but at the cost of one of his testicles.

  Jeffery Donviane, Armstrong's personal physician, said, "As Lance left the hospital he expressed concerns that he would never feel fully like a man again."

  Fast forward a few years and toss in a couple minor leaps in technology for added spice and he you have the real reason Armstrong has been a walking drug store for the last decade.  Armstrong is attempting to regrow his 'lost' testicle.

  I discovered Armstrong's blood was being 'boosted' with a highly advanced stem cell serum, and he was taking several stabilizing drugs. The stem cell serum was specifically engineered to help regenerate testicular tissues. The stabilizing drugs are also important, because with out them, the serum would spread and began trying to rebuild every cell Armstrong ever lost.

  My contact at Walgreens informed me that these specific drugs and serums could provide enormous bursts of energy and increase endurance. He claims it's possible Armstrong didn't realize there were side effects involved with taking those specific drugs.

  It will be interesting to see how society judges him once this crucial bit of information gets released. Part of me thinks it won't change any ones opinion, but another part of me hopes that things get better for him. As always time will tell. I think he will be okay as long as he can 'grow a pair'.