But what about animals? Do you think they believe in concepts such as luck? You would think they have to, wouldn't you? For instance, a cat that gets to lay around all day, eat as much as it wants and get all the attention it craves has to feel way more lucky than a cow does... especially this morning.
That's when the Food and Drug Administration announced a nationwide recall on all flavored milk. It doesn't matter the brand or the flavor. It could be chocolate flavored, banana flavored or even bacon flavored. The FDA wants them all.
The recall came about then some agencies for ethical treatment of animals began voicing their concern and disapproval regarding a new highly experimental, non FDA-approved method for adding flavoring to the milk.
According to a report released by the FDA, the new method for adding flavor to the milk involves putting the cows through a radical dietary change.
First, the amount of hay and feed they are given is cut in half. The next step is to determine what flavor of milk they would like the cow to produce. The third step involves replacing the missing hat and feed with whatever food or ingredient will help produce flavor they chose.
For example, say you want your cow to produce Hersey's Chocolate Milk. Half of what you fed the cow would be hay and feed. The other half of the cow's diet would consist of Hersey's Chocolate Candy Bars.And the final step would be to collect and bottle the milk.
The FDA assures us that there is nothing wrong with the flavored milk and it is completely safe to drink. The only reason for the recall, as previously stated, involved concern that the new diets and method for adding flavor may cause harm to the cows.
Claims that drinking flavored milk will give you cool mutant abilities are completely unfounded and salacious.
I, myself, have already drank seven 8 ounce glasses of Prairie Farms Jellybean Low Fat Milk, and all I've been able to do is levitate this stupid pencil in the air. That's not cool. Not at all.
The good news is the FDA will only be halting production of flavored milk for two weeks. Just long enough for them to run some tests and to say the conducted a proper investigation.
I hope they do it quickly. I'm already starting to go through withdrawal just knowing I'm not going to be able to find my Prairie Farms Chocolate Marshmallow milk.
