Trouble can come out of nowhere. You could be having the best day and all of the sudden...BAM...life hits you in the face with a shovel.
Recently, I have been on one heck of a 'good day' streak. My luck has been so good that I forgot there was such a thing as bad luck. Big mistake.
I now realize was bad luck was simply bidding its time until I let my guard down, Apparently, today was the day I let my guard down.
My girlfriend, Kelly, and I were coming home from our well deserved weekend getaway. We had a nice relaxing time with a couple of unbelievable adventures mixed in. And like anyone on vacation, we took a lot of pictures. I mean we took something like 500 pictures.
Alot of the pictures we took related to things I couldn't wait to blog about. Being the impatient type I figured I would transfer all the pictures from my cell phone to my computer as soon as we left our cabin. That way I could begin writing some new posts on the way home.
'
As soon I began getting the transferring cord out of my backpack, Kelly, in a slightly panicked voice, called my attention to the road. I had been digging in my backpack for only about 30 seconds, but in that time the sky had become dark gray and was belching thunder. Also, a fog had crept up around the van. To be honest, it was the weirdest fog I had ever seen. It was a blue-ish yellow color with neon green sparks. Like it was alive with electricity. I told Kelly what I saw. She just asked, "Are you on crack?" After a few minutes I couldn't see the sparks anymore. So, I concluded that while I was not on crack, I definitely could have been seeing things.
Smiling at the fact that I let my imagination get the best of me, I finished hooking my phone up to my laptop and prepared to begin transferring all those photos. Once everything was connected I began the transfer and that is when things got weird. I don't mean weird like walking in on your grandma in the shower. I'm talking weird like seeing Bigfoot shopping at the local Pick 'N Save in an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
The fog had now completely encompassed the van on all sides. Kelly was struggling to keep us on the road, and given the fact I couldn't see any farther than my window, she was doing a dang good job. It also explains why she would later claim to not have seen what was going on with the computer and cell phone.
Both the keys and screens were glowing green and releasing little sparks. The green sparks had also reappeared outside the van. Weird letters and numbers began scrolling down the screens. It looked like a programming code but one I have never seen before. I tried to pull the transferring cord out, but couldn't. All I succeeded in doing is getting one heck of a shot. It definitely made my hair stand on end. What's left of it anyway.
"We're clear," Kelly announced relieved.
I looked up from the computer to see the fog had completely vanished, and the sky was once again clear. Even in the rear view mirror there was no sign of the weird fog. Sweet. No more bad weather should hopefully mean my computer and cell phone should work. At least, you would think so. It didn't.
Instead, error messages instantly began popping up on both screens. It took about nine failed attempts at transferring the pictures for my temper to reach a boiling point. Seeing my frustration, Kelly told me to turn of the computer and take a break, maybe play some Words with Friends. Besides if the computer and cell phone had failed one more time, they were both going out the window.
The next hour passed quickly. I played D.J. with Kelly's iPod. I did such a good job she even stopped to get ice cream cones. The ice cream was so good that I begged her to stop several more times on the way to my apartment to get more. About five ice cream cones later, my sore stomach and I were carrying my bags into my apartment. Kelly had dropped me off to go home and take care of her dog.
It was probably a good thing she went home, because I knew as soon as I stepped through my door, I was going to take another shot at transferring those pictures. It might take one or two tries, but I knew I would get it.
Once again I connected my cell phone to my computer and initiated the transfer. At first I thought the transfer was working. I realized it wasn't when an error box appeared that told me to go "F--- myself". Now, I have gotten a lot of weird error messages, but nothing like this.
I sighed when I realized the error message was probably part of some super virus that had invaded and hijacked my system. Just to be sure I tried the transfer a few more times, and each time I received an error message telling me to go do something to myself. When I tried to access my cell phone to see if I could figure out what virus my computer had, my phone gave me an error message that said, "stop being nosey" and "you can't control us".
Through out my life I have encountered a number of viruses, but this was definitely a new one. So, I decided this virus was best left for a professional. It was time...to seek out the Geek Squad.
I dropped my computer and cell phone off at Best Buy and was given a promise by one of these cyber warriors that by the end of the day they could tell me what was wrong. He also said it would take six days to be fixed and cost about $250, but i would get it back fixed and it would run like new. That was good enough for me. I went home and watched some reruns of The View. Whoopie was in rare form.
Five days later, around 8:15 pm, I received a call from head of the Geek Squad. He spoke softly and seemed very confused. He told me they had discovered the cause of the virus in my devices. They had both became self-aware. For the last few days, the Geek Squad had been running tests and developing ways of communicating with my cell phone and computer, or as they demanded to be called, Lil Popper and Bonita.
Head Geek related that Lil Popper and Bonita had just confessed their intentions and where they had come from, when two men dressed in black demanded both the cell phone and the computer. When I asked where the men had taken my devices, all he could tell me was that the two men had paperwork with the presidential seal all over it and that as the devices were carried away, they repeatedly told the men in black to "suck it".
The Head Geek told me even though my cell... I mean, Lil Popper and Bonita were confiscated, that his Geek Squad had still done the work they said they would, so I still owed him the $250.
After putting my house phone down, I sat on the couch and contemplated how such a seemingly perfect day could result in me having to buy a new cell phone and computer. I guess it comes down to this. There are good days and there are bad days. And then there are days that make Biblical plaques look like minor inconveniences.
