Strangely, it is only currently available on the market in a very diluted and weakened form... until now, that is.
Those hard working scientists at Axe Body Spray theorized that if a watered down version of the musk smell will compel any woman to give a guy a second look then a pure, untainted form would get that guy's clothes torn off in under three seconds.
The only part the scientists were having trouble with was where to obtain such a potent source of the musk.
At first, they took the simplistic approach. They tried combining several existing colognes together in hopes of producing a super musk. It did not. Instead, all they succeeded in doing was creating 1,216,593 new things that smell nasty.
Next, the scientists tried synthesising the musk from scratch. This method proved to be quite successful during the initial laboratory tests. Every male test subject has at least one piece of clothing torn from his body after applying just a small dab of the synthesized musk. However, during the second stage of testing, this time being done in the real world, they quickly learned that not only can the synthesized musk not survive outside the lab, but it has a major side effect too. Such as turning people in to giant pillars of cotton candy.
Having had two failed attempts through chemistry, the scientists were ready to try a new direction. Biology. The concept was simple. Breed a plant that would produce a musk like smell then those oils could simply be extracted from the plant. This experiment was deemed a failure once the plants started trying to eat the scientists.
After so many failures, the Axe board of directors decided that losing millions upon millions of dollars was simply unacceptable. Especially, without even the smallest hint of success. It took a long night of intense debating, but they finally decided it was time to pull the plug.
On their way to dismiss the scientists, the board members were stunned to see a young man wearing a ripped UPS t-shirt swinging a long lamp stand at a group of four woman. The man kept yelling, "Leave me alone" while the women desperately reached for him and clawed at his clothes.
Eureka! This was what the board members had been looking for. This is what they were looking for. The kind of passion and lust they wanted their body sprays to inspire. The board members quickly rescued the UPS driver and brought him to the scientists.
For the next 48 hours, the UPS driver had every test ran on him that could be imagined. Yet they couldn't find what it was about the man that had caused the woman to respond as they did. There was nothing overly special or unique about him. Nothing that the tests revealed anyway.
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| This new scent from Axe has already sold one million cans |
It took less than a day for the scientists to confirm that the gym sock was indeed the ultimate source for lust inducing pheromones. Even less time passed before Axe had produced its first batch of new Gym Sock scented body spray and started distributing it to stores. Now, a week later, the Axe company has entered into what some financial analysts would call a new golden age.
Not to just sit back, pat themselves on the back and relax, Axe scientists are already experimenting with jock straps and dirty underwear to see if they too might produce a similar powerful musk.
When asked how far a long the research on the underwear and jock straps were, the scientists simply said, "We really can't discuss it. What we can say is this. Look out ladies. Things are about to get crazy."
Crazy indeed.
