Through out history scientists have always looked toward the heavens when it came to solving the mysteries of the world and finding ways to protect it. Today scientists are no different.NASA and the Department of Defense received a wake up call concerning earth to outer space defenses this past Friday when a chunk of the DA14 asteroid exploded over Russia. Windows shattered and walls collapsed and an estimated 1,000 people were injured from the sonic boom created by the explosion.
Both agencies agreed that such an event could not be allowed to occur in the United States of America. When NASA asked the DOD what their plan was, they just shrugged their shoulders and said, "We thought you had the plan."
After a little research it became pretty clear that no one had a plan. No one except a man by the name of Randall McGee, NASA janitor. He suggested not blowing the incoming object up, because the remains could shower down upon the earth and cause severe or even fatal damage. Instead, he presented a different theory that involved using a large bouncee, cushionee object to repel the danger back into space.
NASA and the DOD agreed to the plan and immediately set out to find what material would work best for bouncing a falling object back into space. Over the next two days, over 674 types of materials and objects were tested with no positive results. It wasn't until Sunday night that the perfect object to use was finally discovered, and that happened almost completely by accident.
According to McGee, it had been a long day and the majority of the research staff went home. As usual, several people had left their monitors on and as usual he would walk through and shut everything off. It wasn't until McGee went to shut down one computer but immediately stopped and became mesmerized by what he was seeing on the screen. It was a video starring reality star, Kim Kardashian.
He watched in awe as Kim absorbed everything that was thrown at her, yet she still remained unharmed. In fact, she seemed to act as if nothing had even happened. This is what led McGee to make a change to his plan. Instead of deflecting the object back into outer space it would be absorbed.
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NASA and the DOD agreed to McGee's change of swapping the pile of super soft yet bouncy pillows to Kim Kardashian's butt. Countless tests have revealed that Kim's butt is the only object in the universe capable of absorbing so much energy. It is believed that after a day or two, the space object should safely pass through Kim's system not only sterilizing the object of any germs but also also absorbing any radiation from the object.
The new plan still has a few bugs to work out, but sources close to Kim Kardashian say she is excited to be a part of the project and will do whatever she can to help out. NASA projects that, if everything goes smoothly, by September of this year, the NASA/Kardashian Program should be ready to launch.
