For instance, recently I posted a few tips and hints on how to become famous, which apparently alot of you found to be quite helpful. Especially, one loyal reader, who informed me he was going to follow his dream by auditioning for So You Think Can Whistle.
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| Arnold giving advice on his new talk show |
So, I submit to you three shows that will dominate the upcoming fall television line up.
1. The 'Real' World - It will have fighting. An excessive amount of drinking. Embarrassing situations in every episode. There will also be bouts with insecurity and being over confident for no discernible reason. Oh, and sex. There will be lots of...well, maybe not lots, but there will be a good amount. Okay, you know what, honestly I'm not really sure how much sex there will be, so I'm going to say an average amount. It's hard to say.
See, my cast isn't going to be made up of good looking guys who are jacked up on steroids or womn who have had more upgrades than my iPhone.
No, I'm going to make stars out of the average person. People who are just a little over weight and yeah maybe not the most attractive, but they definitely aren't butt ugly either.
If you think you fall into this category, please go to our website and fill out the cast member application form.
2. The 90 Year Old Bachelor - There are dozens of dating shows out there right now. Some interesting, others make you want to ram a rose through your eye. So, you may be wondering, if there are so many dating shows, why would any tv network let alone it's audience want one more?
Simple. Romance. Out of all those dating shows, I have never seen one honest moment of romance. Sure having 20 beautiful women claim to fall in love with a rich, good looking guy makes for great television, but is it really romance? I say to you no, no it is not. You know who knows how to do romance right? Really old people.
If you have ever seen a really old couple you know how romantic they can be. The man holds doors open for his wife or holds her arm as they walk together. I know a lot of people are thinking sure we may get romance, but is that going to be enough to hold the audiences attention. What everyone forgets is that these people are all 90 years old and older. They don't have time to waste, so while you will get romance, you are going to see relationships move much faster since the cast members could die at any moment. Also, when these female suitors are sent home, they will have a real reason to cry. Mostly because this show could be their last chance at romance.
This show is already in production and will premier September 18, 2013.
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger's Sex Talk. Ya! Ya! - Several years ago there was a woman by the name of Dr. Ruth Westheimer who had one of the most popular talk shows on television. Sure, it didn't hurt that the talk show was essentially about sex, but she also had a captivating personality and sharp sense of wit. Neither of which are the reasons I choose Arnold to host this talk show.
We actually tested out a few different formats of the show before we finally went with a sex advice themed show. The other shows we tested old didn't go over so well. We tried every format from politics to fitness to baking. Nothing seemed able to hold his attention for more than a few minutes. That is until one day, a woman asked Arnold for his advice on how to keep her husband from becoming bored with her. Arnold instantly came to life.
He told the lady, "Ya! Ya! You know what you got to do. You need to buy a maids outfit. Guys love maids." (Remember when reading the previous line please do so in Arnold's accident.)
At that moment we knew what our hit show would be. The premise is pretty simple. Every week Arnold will have a guest host who will help him answer live calls from people all over the world.
I feel once people see this show, they will know to set their dvrs for one thing and one thing only.
