Have you ever said, 'good morning' to someone only to have them growl and stare back at you with two beady black orbs that are just a swirling matrix of rage and pure hate.
If this happened to you, don't worry. It's not your fault. It just means one of two things happened to that person. Either they truly are not a 'morning peron' and didn't get that all important cup of coffee, or the other possibility is that someone/thing interrupted or threw off their morning routine.
I know it seems strange, but according to Psychology America, a person who's morning routine has been interrupted can experience feelings far beyond that of the most extreme case of road rage.
In fact, I believe it was the great Greek philosopher, Socrates, who truly captured how it feels. He said, "having your morning routine disturbed is like being tripped by your best friend, having him steal your ice cream cone and then kick you in the stomach"... Then again, it might have been Aristotle.
Whoever it was, I completely agree. Although, it could be that the reason I so adamantly agree with it is because I also have a very structured morning routine.
My morning routine goes something like this.
1) Wake up
2) Lay in bed reading texts and emails (max 10 minutes)
3) Make my bladder happy
4) Put in my contacts
5) Shave
6) Shower
7) Take care of my lizard
8) Pack up my backpack
9) Leave
Every now and then there is one or two extra things that pop up, but 1 - 9 are pretty much my Monday through Friday routine. I have a routine only because I am a super forgetful person, and by following a routine, I can be about 90 percent sure I didn't forget my house keys on the kitchen table.
When it comes to my routine, I don't like surprises. Especially, in the morning. I feel that if one thing in the morning gets thrown off, I'll be playing catch up for the rest of the day. And there is no better example of this than the situation I recently found myself in.
It was Monday morning and I was already walking that line between being behind and having a minute to spare. Like the wind, I flew down the steps leading to the parking garage. That is until while rounding the corner to the last flight of steps, I nearly plowed over some guy hanging out on the top step.
My initial thought upon bumping into him and knocking him back a few steps was, "Oh crap, is this guy a cop". It seems that even though I barely recognized there was a person in front of me, I some how managed to notice that he was wearing a uniform of some type. Which made me want to get away from him even faster, but alas, that was not to be. Instead, he just began asking me a ba-jillion questions about the people in the apartment complex. Yeah, there was nothing creepy or strange about that.
Ten minutes. Ten minutes that little encounter took, and that was more than enough time to throw off my entire morning routine. The worse part was after all that time and questions, I had no clue to why he was hanging out in the stairwells of my apartment. Heck, I wasn't even sure who he was. All I could make out from his uniform was that it belonged to some security company.
Given that my whole day was off, I didn't really give much thought to the who and why of the security guard mystery. I was okay with just referring to him as "the dick who messed up my day" to my friends.
Sadly, that was not to be our only encounter. Over the next three days, we bumped into each other a total of five times. It didn't matter what route I took from my apartment down to the parking garage. Somehow he always found me. I asked other people in the building if they knew who the security guard guy was or what he was doing wandering the halls of our building, but no one knew who I was talking about. Great. By the end of the fourth day, I was pretty much convinced the security guard guy was really some supernatural creature hell bent on haunting me like in the movie, The Grudge.
I felt I was out of options until my girlfriend recommended I just email the rental company in charge of the building and ask them if they knew what was going on. So, I did. I explained to them, that for the last five days, I had been stopped by some security guard guy and asked a bunch of random questions. I also informed them that every time this happened I had been late for work, and that couldn't keep happening. I ended my email with two simple questions. I asked, "What is he doing just hanging out in the stairwells" and "How long would he be here".
The next day I awoke to an email from my rental company simply saying that they had hired him to be in the building for a few days. There was no explanation as to why he was there or what he was looking for or how long he would be there. Whatever. I was ready for the guy today.
See, I set my alarm ten minutes earlier than normal. I was ready for him. The security guard guy's questioning of me normally lasted from 7 to 10 minutes. As long as he didn't go over ten minutes, my routine wouldn't have to suffer.
In a shocking turn of events, I was able to go from my apartment to the parking garage without being stopped once. It was so shocking, in fact, that I ended up exploring each and every stairwell in my building looking for the guy. Nothing. No sign of him. He had disappeared just as mysteriously as he had arrived. Which is fine, because I was to the point that if he manage to throw off my routine again, I might have lost it.
With my routine back to normal, I realized not only was I becoming much nicer and happier, but also more willing to just help people out in general. I'm sure there is some lesson about how as a society we are to busy and don't take time enough to slow down and enjoy things, but if was looking to learn something I would watch an ABC After School Special.
All I cared about was that the alleged security guard guy was gone. For now that was enough. I worry about slowing down and smelling the proverbial rose... OH FRAK! I'M LATE...
