What the... Why am I waking up? I shouldn't be waking up. Um... I kind of thought the world was supposed to end. This isn't right. Maybe the world did end, but somehow I am the only one who survived. Something is not right here. I need to go check some stuff out, I'll be back in a little bit.
Okay, so it appears the world really did not end. Not to say it won't succumb to some apocalyptic event later in the day, but for now everything is hunky dory. Which is good. I mean, it's not like I did anything crazy last night. Um..FYI, if you happen to read any articles in the newspaper about someone streaking up and down the streets scream-singing Jingle Bells or someone rearranging Christmas lights to spell out dirty words, I just want to say let's not judge that person. Maybe he or she thought the world was ending and went a little bit crazy. Maybe that same person didn't even pay their rent, but instead bought their own body weight in holiday themed Peeps. Who are we to judge.
I, for one, never really put much into these doomsday prophecies. After all, there's a new end of the world scare at least once a month. Even this one, the supposedly honest to goodness prophecy that everyone has been talking about for over a year, I didn't believe. Although, after the huge blizzard that hit us yesterday, I kind of thought...well, maybe there is some truth to the whole thing. Well, apparently not.
With only half the day left I was starting to get worried. Hope all I want, I don't think this apocalypse is coming. Stupid unreliable thing. I figured I might as well just write my rent check out and take it in, but before I could finish the first letter in the name of the rental company I remembered something. About two weeks ago, a person of Mayan decent moved in below me.
I quickly ran downstairs and began pounding on his door. We have maybe said hi to each other twice in the hall, but that's about it. When he finally opened his door, I said hello and laid out maybe question of when the world was going to end. He seemed a little offended that I was asking him this, but after a little light pushing, he shared his secret ancient knowledge.
"Don't blame us," Ted said. "We didn't say the world was going to end. We just got sick of making calenders. You do realize we made a calender that extended almost 5,000 years into our own future. You try making a calender that far out. Eventually no one wanted the job anymore so we just quit. We figured we would just make some more after the 5,000 years was up."
With that and a brief but stern request that I "stomping around", I went back to my apartment to finish writing out that rent check. I guess it's a good thing the world isn't ending, but I will say this. Next time someone comes around with some doomsday prophecy, I am out. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, the freaking world better end.
