Who are you, Easter Bunny

  You know, I can count on one hand the number of times I have been thankful I chose to do a  written blog instead of  a video one. Well tonight, I start on the other hand.

  See, when you work two jobs, no matter how you look at it...you are in for a long day. I work roughly 14 hours Monday through Friday, and by the end of the day I just want to go home, decompress, eat, sleep and watch a little tv. Sadly, it never works out that way.

  It seems that no matter how much I try to plan I always seem to forget to run some errand or pick up something or even get gas. The gas one happens more times than it should. And if I forget something in the morning, that means I have to try and do it during the ten minutes I have inbetween my two jobs. If I can't do it then, it means my only other option is to get it done after I get off my second job... at 11 pm. Which as you can guess, adds just a little more time to that 14 hour day.

  As does going to the gym. It didn't take me long to discover that eating and laying on the couch while watching tv every night was doing some pretty unfavorable things to my body shape and health. So, I had to added two to three trips to the gym every week. Those trips take that 14 hour day all the way up to a 16 hour day.

  The long and the short of it is, when I get home after these super long days of working, running errands and working out, I look as if someone threw sand in my eyes and hit me in the face with a shovel. And all I want to do is sleep. That's really what I should be doing right now. The problem is... I can't. I can't shut my brain off and stop thinking... Stupid Easter Bunny.

  Yeah, you heard me. Stupid Easter Bunny. Who are you? You furry icon of mystery. Who are you!?!

Is this the Easter Bunny?

  In today's society, we as people Google the crap out of anything that comes into our lives. Especially, when has to do with our kids. People. Places. Stuff. Eventually, it all gets Googled.

  So, when I was at the gym and I began thinking about Easter, I nearly fell off the tread mill when I realized, we have no clue who the Easter Bunny is. When you take the time to think about it, it is actually pretty scary that we know essentially nothing about this creature that sneaks into our homes and leaves baskets full of candy and toys for our kids.

  All night I have been searching my memory for some answers. Surely, at some point I had heard a story or read something that would answer all the questions are bouncing around in my head, but I couldn't think of anything.

  Let me share just a few of these questions that are keeping me from sleep.

          - What is your name? Are you just called, the Easter Bunny?
          - Where do you live?
          - Who works with you? Santa has his elves. Who do you have?
          - How do you get into our homes?
          - Do you wear clothes?
          - Are you a boy or a girl?
          - What do you really look like? Some claim you are short while others say you are 6 feet.
          - How do you transport all these baskets?
          - Does it matter if you are naughty or nice?
          - How did you even get involved with Easter?
          - What is your connection to Jesus?

  There are others, but those are the main ones. So, I thought maybe if I did a little research on Easter I could come up with something that would answer enough of my questions so I could get some sleep. Ha ha. I love when I am wrong.

  To make a long story short, for those of you who don't know, Easter is a Christian holiday that celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ. You know, the day he rose from the dead (not as a zombie I might add) and ascended to heaven. In all my Google searching I found no mention of a bunny having anything to do with Easter except for the modern association of him...her... it bringing us Easter baskets and hanging out at malls.

  Now, I really wasn't sleeping. This was crazy. There was no historical record of the Easter Bunny. I kept searching and searching. I read over 52 articles before I finally stumbled upon a brief mention of the bunny being an important part of an ancient pagan celebration of  the Goddess of Fertility known as Eastre.

   So, after even more research and another Smores flavored Pop Tart, what I get hungry when I get all Sherlock Holmesy, I finally found my answers.

 The pagans Goddess of Fertility, Eastre, and her consort a hare, were honored at the beginning of every spring. People celebrated this as a time of replenishing, renewal and rebirth. And yes, we do get the name 'Easter' from the Goddess 'Eastre'.

  It seems just like with some of our other holidays, we adopted the pagan holiday and merged it with one of our own to make converting them to Christianity easier.

  And while it was Eastre who gave us the name Easter, it was the German settlers who, in the 1700s,  finally brought the Easter Bunny to America. Except back then we called him, the Easter Hare.

  In fact, the earliest mention of the bunny as being a symbol of Easter dates back to Germany in the 1500s. Germans called him, Oschter Haws. I couldn't find what that translates to in English, but for piece-of-minds sake, I'm guessing it is, Easter Bunny.

  Apparently, Oschter Haws stole his gimmick from Santa Claus, because if children wanted any of his colorful eggs, they had to be good. There isn't any mention of what the bad children got, but I'm guessing it wasn't pretty.

  Another interesting fact about Easter is that Christians pretty much ignored the holiday and it wasn't until after the civil war that the holiday was finally widely celebrated. By the 19th century,  we  had re-branded the Easter Hare into the Easter Bunny.

  Finally, the mystery is solved and my brain can rest. Hopefully, after reading this all your questions were answered as well so you don't suffer as I did.

  Oh, one last thing. The first edible Easter bunnies were made in Germany during the early 1800s. They, however, were not made of chocolate; they were made of pastry and sugar.

  Good night.


 

 

Bake Me A Cake As Fast As You Can

  Birthdays mean different things for different people. For some people, birthdays are an important and special day that should be celebrated with friends, family and loved ones. Other people treat their birthday as if it was any other day. I happen to fall into the second category, but my girlfriend definitely falls into the first one.

  And, while I am perfectly content with staying in, ordering a pizza and watching Sharktopus...my girlfriend isn't. She goes out of her way to make peoples birthdays special. So, when her birthday rolled around, I wanted to do something special for her. The problem is I couldn't really do what I wanted to do for her birthday, which is why I decided to make her a cake rather than buy one.

  Oh, and I know you probably are wondering what I really wanted to do for her birthday and honestly, I would love to tell you. I won't though, but only because I might want to use it later on. I kind of suck at thinking up cool surprises.

Twin Rocks in Oregon

  Anyway, I had decided to make her a cake. I already had an idea of what I wanted to do. There is this place in Oregon called, Twin Rocks, she talks about all the time and even has a framed picture of it. I figured it would be cool to recreate that location in cake form.

  In my head, this project would take maybe one to two hours. I could crank it out in no time at all, easy peasy lemon squeezy. Plus, I figured if I made the cake, the brownie pops and and brownie men in advance it would take even less time.

  You would think by now I would know better, but nope. I am famous for taking mountains and calling them mole hills. In other words, I come up with ideas that I think will be super easy to do, but then I take my idea from head to paper.

  When ever I come up with any idea for a project, I will do a rough sketch and make a rough list of things I will need. I'll do this a couple times...refining the sketch and making my items list more detailed. Usually by the time I have finished this process, I realize I have way under estimated the amount of skill it would take to pull off making the project and the amount of time it will take to finish.

  This birthday cake was no exception. It pretty much took me like 9 hours to get the whole cake done. So, it only took 7 hours longer than I thought it would. Some of you out there might be like, "Holy Crap." However, I thought, "Well, that didn't take as long as I thought it would." And while it didn't turn out as perfect as I would have liked, I think it came out better than just okay. Like if I had to grade myself, I would most likely give myself an 'S' or 'S+'.

  I am happy to say that this past Saturday I gave her the cake, and she did actually like it. Heck, she even ate a piece. I am also happy to say she has not died yet. So, score one for me. Woohoo.

  For those of you who might be curious, below are a few of the snap shots I took while creating my masterpiece. Yeah, you heard me. Also, I would love to know what you think. So, hit me up with that awesome feedback you guys are known for giving.

  The Twin Rocks Cake

The advance baking

The supplies



Fun mixing frosting

Placing the people and rocks

 

The finished project

Harry Styles and the St Patrick's Day That Almost Wasn't

  If history has taught us anything its that we will go to war for pretty much any reason. Land, religion, resources, secrets, your leader's penis is bigger than our leader's penis, it doesn't really matter. Heck, we have even gone to war twice because of women and love.

  So, why not go for lucky number 3. After all, they say the third time is the charm.

  This time around the characters in our would-be-Greek tragedy are Harry Styles, member of the current reigning boy band - One Direction, the beautiful Princess Sulestra of the O'Brien clan of the leprechauns and finally her betrothed, Prince Shaka-Khan of the Flanningan clan of leprechauns.

  The generous King Whatsamattayou, of the O'Brien clan, was known to do whatever it took to make his daughter, the happiest leprechaun in the world.

  Even if that meant breaking one of the oldest leprechaun laws. Which was, no human may ever enter any kingdom ruled over by the leprechaun.

  So, when Princess Sulestra told her father that she wanted the human English boy band, One Direction, to play at her Sweet 116 party, others in the clan began to worry and Prince Shaka-Khan became very jealous.

  It was alot of work for the king, but he eventually convinced that the concert/party would be a lot of fun and that nothing could possibly occur. Luckily for the king, he was respected enough that his people word was enough to put the clan at ease.

  The night of the concert came and every thing went smoothly. Everyone danced and sang along with the songs and at the end of the concert, the princess and a few of her friends were able to meet One Direction and even get some autographs. Being the birthday girl, Harry even bestowed a little kiss upon the beautiful princess's cheek.

  Reports are the princess returned to the party giggling with her friends and looking back over her shoulder toward Harry. Its at this point, that the details of what happened next get  a little confused.

  The leprechauns claim that Harry Styles became obsessed with the princess and kidnapped her to get at her gold, power and magic.

  The English say that the princess, like any other teenage girl, became infatuated with Styles and hid inside his luggage.

  However, if you are to believe Styles or the princess, the two simply fell in love and ran away together.

  Which ever theory you choose to believe, it is a safe bet, Prince Shaka-Khan was not happy with any of them.

  According to reports, it took a mere 15 minutes for it to be discovered that the princess was missing and for Prince Shaka-Khan to turn the party goers in to an angry war hungry mob.

  All the leprechaun clans were furious. Not only were they mad at the king who had allowed his own daughter to be taken, but also at the English for harboring this outlaw. They promised the English would pay for their actions.

  The English, while unaware, were not completely unprepared for what they Leprechauns had planned. When England fell victim to a minor zombie outbreak, the Queen ordered plans be developed detailing how to handle all sorts of supernatural threats.

  So, when rainbows began streaking through the sky over England, automated surveillance registered the threat and initiated the Pot-of-Gold protocols.

  Unmanned drones with spectrum sensitive missiles launched all over England. These drones not only intercepted the rainbow trails, but began firing on the sources responsible for making those trails.

  In country meadows and city streets, the English and Leprechaun ground forces prepared to clash, The English maneuvered tanks and other armored vehicles into position while the Leprechauns brought 10 feet tall golems made from the ground to life.

  The Queen of England was at a loss about what to do. She didn't want to go to war with the Leprechauns, but she had a duty to protect the people of England. No matter what people thought, she was not just a figure head. She was the Queen Mother, and like any mother, she would protect her children no matter what.

  In attempt to clear her head, the Queen, went for a walk to the nearest 7 11. She had a weakness for their Double Gulp cups, which could hold up to 48 ounces. It was also her own form of meditation. Once inside the 7 11, she purchased her drink and was about to take a big satisfying slurp of her drink when a headline in the newest People magazine caught her attention.

  The Queen grabbed the magazine and re-read the front cover several times. She had to be sure what she was seeing was true. She even went as far as to personally call the magazine editor just to confirm the headline was true. When she was satisfied what she was seeing was indeed fact, the Queen ordered all the People magazines to be loaded into special drone planes.

  The planes flew all across England, dropping their contents over Leprechaun as well the English armies. Just as the Leprechaun generals were about to give the order to attack, the magazines appeared. One very annoyed Prince Shaka-Khan picked up the magazine and read the headline to the main story. Princess Sulestra Breaks Up With Harry Styles To Party With Taylor Swift.

  His anger immediately faded. He no longer so Harry Styles as the bad guy, but just another poor love sick sap the princess had taken advantage off.

  As more and more leprechauns and humans read the stories, the more they couldn't help but feel sad for poor Harry Styles. He was just a guy who took a chance on love and had gotten burned. The order for withdrawal was given on both sides. The rainbows faded from the sky leaving behind just a beautiful bright blue, and all ground forces vanished from the fields and streets.

  It's strange to think England came within seconds of being engulfed in war, all due to a forbidden romance. It is also strange that for once, the United States wasn't involved in any of it. Instead, we just watched on our televisions at the St. Patrick's Day that almost wasn't.


 

Gas Station Sushi

  It's been said that the majority of things you see and hear on television are not true. It's also been said there isn't anything to be concerned about if you see someone dressed up like a sad clown walking around at night carrying a butcher's knife.

  Now, obviously not every sad clown with a knife is going to be dangerous, but we can't deny the fact that sometimes clowns have bad days and mistakes happen.

  And just like every clown may not be interested in just making you laugh, not every thing you see and hear on tv  is exactly a lie.

  Case in point...commercials. Their main goal is to convince you that you need the product they are selling. Which they do by laying some hard to hear truths on us.

  No one wants to be told they have breath that smells like rotting cabbage, but Scope will do it. Nor is it likely any mom will take her daughter into a field filled with fluffy dandelions to discuss the importance of Summer's Eve, but a commercial will be there with box in had to do it for you.

  Bottom line, I feel I can trust commercials to tell me the truth. So, when I saw an ad for insurance featuring a very excited gentleman buying sushi from a dirty gas station, I too became excited. Sure he seemed like he was having a little stomach trouble at the end, but that could have been caused by any number of things.

  Fast forward to two days later and I am in a gas station fueling up and very late for work. My stomach was growling and churning like that creature from Alien was about to pop out. It made sense given I hadn't eaten since the night before. So, like my cave dwelling ancestors, I stalked the aisles looking for my prey. I passed by bags of chips, gas station pizza, gas station cheeseburgers and ham sandwiches that I am pretty sure have been there since the 1960s. No, I wanted something different, something new...something exotic. Oh, Laffy Taffy covered hot dogs, no wait, even better...gas station sushi. Time to see if it is as exciting as the guy on the commercial made it seem.

  In my car, I turned on the newest episode of the Nerdist podcast opened up my sushi container and dug in. The initial bite tasted a bit off, but to be fair, I had never had gas station sushi before this, so I didn't really have anything to compare it to. To be fair, the rest of the sushi tasted really good. And no side effects.

  At least not until four hours later, when I found myself running to the bathroom every five minutes to do one of two things. What those two things were...I'll leave up to your imagination, but to be honest I wouldn't even imagine it. It wasn't pretty and let's leave it that. About five hours later, my stomach started to cramp and I began to sweat like it was 300 degrees outside. My mouth dried up and my tongue felt like leather. Seven hours into this whole thing and the fever was fading but so was my vision. Hour eight everything finally cleared up and I was good to go. A half hour later, I developed a loud buzzing in my head. Like giant mosquitos were flying around my brain. That lasted for another hour before it went away, and I was finally symptom free for good.

  What caused all this I'm not really sure. Some people say it was definitely the sushi, but I have no proof of that. As far as I know, it was just a coincidence that I almost died a few hours after eating the sushi. It could have been plenty of other things like the spontaneous plague or rickets or maybe a momentary genetic breakdown.

  I guess we will probably never know. All we know for sure is that commercials have once again never lied to me. Gas station sushi really is pretty good.

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How To Survive The First Round Of The Zombie Apocalypse

  It is my humble opinion that movies starring zombies make the best horror films.

  I'm positive at least half of you are of similar opinion. The other half, by now, have pulled out and are willing their copies of Paranormal Activity and The Exorcist, screaming, "What about these? Have you seen these?"

  I have. Multiple times. They are both excellent examples of how scary and suspenseful horror films can be when they are done right. Which is kind of the problem. They aren't always done right.

  Now, don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that every zombie movie ever made has been perfect. In fact, I can count the number of true greats on one hand. But that's why they are they best.

  It doesn't matter if I'm watching the best zombie movie ever, or the worst. I can always find something to appreciate.Whether its the suspense, the gore or just being so ridiculous that it makes me laugh, there's always something.

  The thing about zombie movies though is that once you see so many of them so many times, you begin to put yourself in the character's shoes.

  You start to question the character's choices. Compare how they handled a situation to how you would handle it. And that's when you realize, a lot of people who die in the first round of the zombie apocalypse, deserve to die.

  I guess it's not really their fault. Yes, zombie movies have been around for well over 40 years, so you would think there would be some kind of basic knowledge. But I guess you really can't count that as actual training.

  That's why I am currently trying to pass a bill that would require every person living in the United States to go through a two week course called, 'How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse'.

  Below are a few of the more important techniques we would teach in the class.

1)  People should be allowed to carry an axe or sword with them at all times. Its just a matter of being prepared. Why do so many people die right away? No weapons that are readily accessible. Carry a sword or axe with you and your chances of survival greatly increase.

2)  People need to get used to 'swinging first, asking questions' later. If something moans or tries to grab you from behind, swing your axe as you spin around. Zombies are the masters of the sneak attack. Which is odd. You know, because of all the moaning. And yes, there may be a few accidents initially from people sneaking up behind you and grabbing your shoulders or covering your eyes. But to be honest, those people are fairly annoying.

3)  I want it to be mandatory that whenever a coffin is put into the ground, it must also be encased in a box made out of three feet thick concrete. This way none of the undead will be crawling their way back up to the surface. As a bonus, it's pretty effective at containing vampires too.

4)  Carry pieces of raw meat in your backpack or purse. This can be used when you need to slow down a horde of zombies that want to make you their lunch. All you have to do is toss the meat behind you and keep on running. Don't look back.
      By the way, zombies don't care if the meat is fresh or not. So, don't worry about buying fresh meat every couple days. Just remember to keep it in an air tight container. Otherwise, zombies aren't the only things you'll be distracting.

  And finally, the most important bit of training you need is...

5)  You need acting lessons. If zombie movies have taught us anything, its that sometimes pretending to be a zombie is all you need to do to survive. But something else to remember is that zombies are really good at picking out fakers, so be sure to bring your 'A' game.

My Do-It-Yourself Coaster Project

  It's said that if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. However, teach that man how to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.

  Well, after these past five days, I am no closer to feeding myself, but I am damn sure will never have to worry about water rings on any tables I own for the rest of my life.

  All because I wasn't happy with the selection of coasters the world had to offer.

  Now, for those of you just joining us, I think a little back story might be in order. Otherwise, I'm afraid I might be coming across as a guy who is oddly obsessed with coasters.

  So, two weeks ago I made the very adult decision to rescue a slightly used coffee table from the St. Vincent de Paul thrift store.

  It was a purchase that definitely made sense. It was way cheap and I thought it would be nice to have something to put my comic books or my feet up on while I watch tv. My girlfriend pointed out it would also be nice to have something to eat on instead of trying to balance plates in our laps or squatting on the floor like cave people.

  A few days after purchasing the coffee table, I made my self a super yummy meal consisting of mac and cheese, two soft pretzels and a super cold can of Diet Pepsi. It only took me a few seconds to reluctantly admit, eating on a table was a little bit better than sitting on the floor. It was also at that moment I noticed my Diet Pepsi was starting to bead up with water.

  Immediately, I freaked. "Coaster. I need to put something under this." Apparently, the curse I was worried about being attached to the coffee table had finally showed it's ugly head. I was suddenly channeling my mom.

  I ransacked my apartment like a D.E.A agent going through Snoop Dogg's house. This went on for about ten minutes. Finally, I had to face the facts. I didn't own any coasters. Not a big deal though, right? You can get them at any store, and I just knew I could get some real good nerd influenced ones from somewhere.

  The next three days I googled, hunted and asked. It was all for naught. I could really only find one cool set of coasters out there, and they had been home made by some dude in Kentucky. I might have ordered them too, but the shipping was like $5 and that made them a little more than I was willing to spend. I would just go to the store and get some plain old boring ones. Eventually, I would most likely get used to them. Heck, My mom might even think they were neat.

  It also occurred to me there was another option. Why didn't I just make my own. I figured it couldn't be to hard, so I spent the next couple days Googling that topic to death. There were a lot of ways to go about making your coasters. Some super easy and cheap. Others were a bit more complicated and on the pricey side. I eventually settled on a plan that fell somewhere in the middle.

  Now that I knew how I was going to make them, I had to settle on a what. What theme did I want my coasters to have. I bandied about a few different ideas: Mario Brothers. The Walking Dead. Superheroes. But I went with the show that gets watched the most at my house, I figured it made sense. Plus, the nerd in me thought it was an awesome idea.

  My original plan was to just make 3 different trial ones, but I found so many pictures I liked, I ended up making 6. My ego would like me to say my coasters turned out perfect  on the first try. I would also like to say I'm an astronaut, but that would also be a lie. In fact, there were 8 previous versions that didn't quite work out. On a few I didn't allow for enough curing time. Others I forgot to make waterproof. And on one, well... its hard to describe what went wrong but trust me, things went way wrong.

  It only took a week of total trial and error, but today I am proud to present the fruits of victory. I would love to know what you think. I have a bunch of other sets I am thinking of doing and maybe even selling some. Whenever I come up with a new set, I'll post it here first.

My Doctor Who coasters and some Jedi Squirrels

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Where Furniture Goes to Die and My New/Used Table

  It's not often I make what I consider to be an adult purchase. And by that I mean buying something that falls into the category of cars, houses, furniture, etc.

  However, last Sunday, one of these purchases kind of snuck up on me during a spur of the moment trip to St Vincent de Paul.

  My girlfriend loves throwing parties of any type. Whether they be themed, casual or more on the fancy side, she definitely knows how to entertain. Lately, she has started hosting Sex and the City themed get togethers. From what I've been told, my girlfriend and her friends drink two to three Cosmos each, play a few rounds of a Sex and the City trivia game and then pick a few their episodes to watch. I guess there is also food. Like I said, I'm only going on what I have been told. These tend to be a ladies only affair.

  Her Sex and the City parties have become so popular that last Sunday I was informed she wanted to go to St Vincent de Paul to quest for some new/used Martini glasses. And given the fact, she had already agreed to go to the comic book store with me, I figured, "why not". Besides, I figured they have at the most, two shelves dedicated to glassware. We would be in and out in just a few minutes... Man, I couldn't have been more wrong.

  There were two entire aisles filled with all sorts of glassware. There were drinking glasses, shot glasses, mugs with silly sayings, beer steins, etc. Luckily, my girlfriend is observant and saw the hint of boredom starting to glaze over my eyes. She recommended I look around for a bit.

  So, I did. I wandered the aisles not sure what treasures from the past were out there, but it seemed every few steps I came across one. It would take forever to list all the gems I found, so here are just a few of the more sparkly ones. I discovered a 56k phone modem, a VHS rewinding machine that was definitely bigger than a toaster, a do-it-yourself hair removal kit complete with an already opened jar of wax and slightly scary looking teddy bear that looked as if it had been fighting in the UFC up until its being donated.

  The biggest prize in the place, however, I discovered amongst a pile of what I assumed was once functional furniture. This was furniture people cared for and were proud of. Now, I felt like I was looking at the rarely seen furniture graveyard. This was the place that furniture came to die. And then just as I turned to walk away I saw it. A light brown finish. I'm not sure why, but I ventured not only back to the furniture graveyard but into it. Like an archaeologist on a dig, I began sifting through the layers of old desks that looked like they would be useful for nothing more than kindle and pushed aside an entertainment said that was now being held together with just a few screws and clamps. I dug and dug until finally I revealed my find. A oval shaped coffee table.

  I checked the table over. There were a couple of scratches and a water ring, but other than that the table was in good condition. I honestly thought about buying  it, but changed my mind due to the fact the color was really dull. Plus, there was nothing wrong with eating all my meals on the floor of ,my apartment, and a table would just take up a lot of extra room.  To prove the point to myself, I went and borrowed a paper towel from the cashier then ran the towel over the top of the table. Immediately, I saw a difference. Where the towel had touched now shined brightly.

  Okay, I was back in. Although, I was still hesitant to make the leap from admiring to purchasing. The price was definitely right. At $19.00, it fit right into my budget. And I knew with a little polishing I could bring this table back to life. Maybe even get one of those pens from Menards or Home Depot to color in a few of those scratches. There was only one thing holding me back, and to me it seemed like a perfectly logical reason to be hesitant.

  I didn't know the history of this table. It would suit my purposes to believe this table came from a happy home with a loving couple, but it could have just as easily came from a much darker place filled with hate and loathing. So, it is possible that this table could just as easily be cursed or maybe even haunted. Such a dilemma. I knew the table would look great in my apartment, but would that be worth letting a demon in. You know, once those things set up shop some where, they are a pain to get rid of.

  After ten minutes of pondering and weighing options, I was no closer to a decision. I needed help. I needed... to return to the glassware aisles and get some advice.

  I'm not sure where she found it, but when I came across my girlfriend still looking at glassware, I noticed she was holding a fondue pot. I told her what I had found and presented both sides of the argument to her as to why I should buy the coffee table and why I shouldn't. She took about 15 seconds to think then told me to get it.

  I asked her if she was sure and she responded by looking me straight in the eyes and saying, "Get it! I'm sick of sitting on your floor to eat or not having anything to set a drink on."

  Fifteen minutes later, we were unloading the coffee table from her van and then carefully manipulating it into the elevator at my apartment.  It took a little longer than I thought it would to maneuver the table down the hall and into my apartment, but once we set it down, that's when stuff got real.

My new/used possibly haunted coffee table

  I tightened up all the legs on the table and spent a good ten minutes polishing it. I checked to see how many scratches there were and waited for my tables newly restored shine to either diminish or go away completely once the Pledge had dried. A half hour later and the shine was still there. It was time to put the table in its new home, the spot in front of my couch. I looked upon my adult purchase and smiled. I then promptly plopped on to the couch and put my feet up on the table. Yep, this was perfect.

  The coffee table has now been in my possession for a week and so far my walls aren't bleeding and I'm not being terrorized by the ghost of someones grandma. Although, that's not to say some issues haven't arose.  For instance, except for when I use it to eat on, my coffee table remains barren. I feel the time has come to decorate it or create some sort of center piece. I haven't come up with any ideas yet ,but I am confident I shall soon.

  The other issue is the water ring. I know it's there and I don't really have a problem with it, but I find myself being very adult like in the fact that I want to prevent anymore. Obviously, the best way to do this is by using coasters. Easy fix, right? Eh, kind of. See, there aren't really a ton of coasters out there that I think would be cool and they ones I did find were like $20 for a set of four. Screw that.

  So, I did a little research and I have decided to get my craft on. By Friday, I will let you know how things went. Either I will have some of the coolest coasters ever, or I will be wishing I had just gone ahead and ordered some online. Either way, it will be interesting to see how things turn out, and I look forward to reading what you think. See you in five days.