Where Furniture Goes to Die and My New/Used Table

  It's not often I make what I consider to be an adult purchase. And by that I mean buying something that falls into the category of cars, houses, furniture, etc.

  However, last Sunday, one of these purchases kind of snuck up on me during a spur of the moment trip to St Vincent de Paul.

  My girlfriend loves throwing parties of any type. Whether they be themed, casual or more on the fancy side, she definitely knows how to entertain. Lately, she has started hosting Sex and the City themed get togethers. From what I've been told, my girlfriend and her friends drink two to three Cosmos each, play a few rounds of a Sex and the City trivia game and then pick a few their episodes to watch. I guess there is also food. Like I said, I'm only going on what I have been told. These tend to be a ladies only affair.

  Her Sex and the City parties have become so popular that last Sunday I was informed she wanted to go to St Vincent de Paul to quest for some new/used Martini glasses. And given the fact, she had already agreed to go to the comic book store with me, I figured, "why not". Besides, I figured they have at the most, two shelves dedicated to glassware. We would be in and out in just a few minutes... Man, I couldn't have been more wrong.

  There were two entire aisles filled with all sorts of glassware. There were drinking glasses, shot glasses, mugs with silly sayings, beer steins, etc. Luckily, my girlfriend is observant and saw the hint of boredom starting to glaze over my eyes. She recommended I look around for a bit.

  So, I did. I wandered the aisles not sure what treasures from the past were out there, but it seemed every few steps I came across one. It would take forever to list all the gems I found, so here are just a few of the more sparkly ones. I discovered a 56k phone modem, a VHS rewinding machine that was definitely bigger than a toaster, a do-it-yourself hair removal kit complete with an already opened jar of wax and slightly scary looking teddy bear that looked as if it had been fighting in the UFC up until its being donated.

  The biggest prize in the place, however, I discovered amongst a pile of what I assumed was once functional furniture. This was furniture people cared for and were proud of. Now, I felt like I was looking at the rarely seen furniture graveyard. This was the place that furniture came to die. And then just as I turned to walk away I saw it. A light brown finish. I'm not sure why, but I ventured not only back to the furniture graveyard but into it. Like an archaeologist on a dig, I began sifting through the layers of old desks that looked like they would be useful for nothing more than kindle and pushed aside an entertainment said that was now being held together with just a few screws and clamps. I dug and dug until finally I revealed my find. A oval shaped coffee table.

  I checked the table over. There were a couple of scratches and a water ring, but other than that the table was in good condition. I honestly thought about buying  it, but changed my mind due to the fact the color was really dull. Plus, there was nothing wrong with eating all my meals on the floor of ,my apartment, and a table would just take up a lot of extra room.  To prove the point to myself, I went and borrowed a paper towel from the cashier then ran the towel over the top of the table. Immediately, I saw a difference. Where the towel had touched now shined brightly.

  Okay, I was back in. Although, I was still hesitant to make the leap from admiring to purchasing. The price was definitely right. At $19.00, it fit right into my budget. And I knew with a little polishing I could bring this table back to life. Maybe even get one of those pens from Menards or Home Depot to color in a few of those scratches. There was only one thing holding me back, and to me it seemed like a perfectly logical reason to be hesitant.

  I didn't know the history of this table. It would suit my purposes to believe this table came from a happy home with a loving couple, but it could have just as easily came from a much darker place filled with hate and loathing. So, it is possible that this table could just as easily be cursed or maybe even haunted. Such a dilemma. I knew the table would look great in my apartment, but would that be worth letting a demon in. You know, once those things set up shop some where, they are a pain to get rid of.

  After ten minutes of pondering and weighing options, I was no closer to a decision. I needed help. I needed... to return to the glassware aisles and get some advice.

  I'm not sure where she found it, but when I came across my girlfriend still looking at glassware, I noticed she was holding a fondue pot. I told her what I had found and presented both sides of the argument to her as to why I should buy the coffee table and why I shouldn't. She took about 15 seconds to think then told me to get it.

  I asked her if she was sure and she responded by looking me straight in the eyes and saying, "Get it! I'm sick of sitting on your floor to eat or not having anything to set a drink on."

  Fifteen minutes later, we were unloading the coffee table from her van and then carefully manipulating it into the elevator at my apartment.  It took a little longer than I thought it would to maneuver the table down the hall and into my apartment, but once we set it down, that's when stuff got real.

My new/used possibly haunted coffee table

  I tightened up all the legs on the table and spent a good ten minutes polishing it. I checked to see how many scratches there were and waited for my tables newly restored shine to either diminish or go away completely once the Pledge had dried. A half hour later and the shine was still there. It was time to put the table in its new home, the spot in front of my couch. I looked upon my adult purchase and smiled. I then promptly plopped on to the couch and put my feet up on the table. Yep, this was perfect.

  The coffee table has now been in my possession for a week and so far my walls aren't bleeding and I'm not being terrorized by the ghost of someones grandma. Although, that's not to say some issues haven't arose.  For instance, except for when I use it to eat on, my coffee table remains barren. I feel the time has come to decorate it or create some sort of center piece. I haven't come up with any ideas yet ,but I am confident I shall soon.

  The other issue is the water ring. I know it's there and I don't really have a problem with it, but I find myself being very adult like in the fact that I want to prevent anymore. Obviously, the best way to do this is by using coasters. Easy fix, right? Eh, kind of. See, there aren't really a ton of coasters out there that I think would be cool and they ones I did find were like $20 for a set of four. Screw that.

  So, I did a little research and I have decided to get my craft on. By Friday, I will let you know how things went. Either I will have some of the coolest coasters ever, or I will be wishing I had just gone ahead and ordered some online. Either way, it will be interesting to see how things turn out, and I look forward to reading what you think. See you in five days.