My mom's favorite bit of advice was, "Never clean up another person's mess, because you never know what you will find". I believe she developed an appreciation for this phrase when she found a pizza box with a live squirrel inside while cleaning my room. First of all, I was 15 years old when this took place. And secondly, I think she was seeing things or possibly on the crack, as well all know moms are to be from time to time. However, despite it's questionable origins, the advice is good.
No one knows this fact to be true more than the Black Ops squad known simply as, The Sweepers. Not much is known about them, and what little is is believed to be either misinformation or simply the tales of madmen.
Heck, I've been researching The Sweepers for years, and all I have been able to piece together is they are a squad comprised of both soldiers and scientists. They seem to get called in whenever a military facility gets decommissioned by the government. What they do at these locations is a mystery, but gun to my head, I would say they go in and remove all the top secret projects and sweep the place clean of all evidence.
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| This baby mutant turkey is 5 hours old |
Yep, right now the there are, at last count, 38 Mega Turkeys attacking cities and towns all across the United States. That number will most likely increase very soon if the news networks are correct. Apparently, one of the benefits of being a 20 feet tall genetically altered mutant Royal Palm turkey is that they lay 5 to 10 eggs every day. They lady on the tv right now just said that new born mutant turkeys reach maturity in about 3 days.
The military and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) are being shocking quiet about their reason for creating Mega Turkeys. Their response to all questions so far has been, "no comment". I'm guessing it's hard to come up with a cover story when Mega Turkeys are involved. I'm sure whatever they come up with will have something to do with 'trying to find ways to feed and ever overpopulated world' and nothing to do with biological warfare.
I guess the big question is, what are they going to do with the turkeys. I'm sure they will try to catch as many as they can alive, but turkeys are being bad ass courageous creatures. I doubt they will go back to their cages without a fight. And a few won't make it.
My first thought was to obviously just use them for food, but then it occurred to me that maybe whatever changes were made to their DNA could be passed along. That's all we would need is a bunch of 20 feet tall mutant people running around. And given how things have been going in this country lately, I'm sure they would be 20 feet tall mutant zombie people.
The news reports are asking everyone to stay inside their homes till the military and DARPA get things under control. I hate when they say that. Half the time when these strange outbreaks happen, there is nothing to worry about, and I hate sitting around. Plus, I am out of Diet Pepsi and I am really thirsty. I figured the odds of me being killed by a rampaging mutant turkey are pretty thin. That is until the guy down the street was eaten by one. Now, I think I'll just sit around and play some Xbox. Besides pizza places deliver food even in times of national disasters. Right?
