Two days later, and he called me asking me if I wanted to do something. When I asked what happened to all the chores he had, he told me they were all done. Now, he was just sitting around bored and not sure how to keep busy.
I thought about this and felt a little sad for my friend. So, I sat down one night and came up with some things that anyone on furlough can do to help keep them busy and feeling productive.
1. Find four teenage mutant hamsters and start a dupstep group.
2. Call every government office you can and when asked to leave a message, inquire as to 'What does the fox say?'. Perhaps give them an example of how you think a fox may sound.
3. Develop an internet search engine and call it, "Bitch, Please!"
4. Do you hate your boss or someone else in your office? Now is the perfect time to find a fellow hater and learn to speak a foreign language. That way you can openly mock and no one will now what you are saying.
5. Learn magic, then go up to strangers and pull rabbits out from behind their ears.
6. Go to the adult room in the video store and take out all the porn dvds, and replace them all with copies of the classic Disney movie, Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
7. Begin writing crossover fan fiction that combines Breaking Bad with The Facts of Life. Ms. Garrett finds out the girls have been selling blue meth.
8. Drive around and find Amish riding in a horse and buggy, and challenge them to a drag race.
9. Put on a red wig, pancake make up and big red shoes. Next walk into any McDonald's and demand to speak to Ronald McDonald. Make a fuss when they say he's not there. Do this until they get ready to kick you out then yell, "I won't leave until my dead beat father comes out here and talks to me." You'll either get kicked out or get free food for life in hopes of silencing you.
10. Get to work on a bill that will require all male politicians to wear BeDazzled speedos at all times while in office.
11. Watch every episode ever made of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and the explain to me why I should care what they are up to.
12. Take up ninja bear wrestling. It has a year long season and who doesn't like watching a bear leap into the air and spin kick a man across the face. Bruce Grizzly vs Ted.
