How To Survive In The Wild: Food

The Boy Scout motto is, "Be prepared". Good advice, if you don't mind doing all the work being prepared requires. I kind of glossed over that part when I was a scout. Not because I didn't think it was important, I just kind of figured I could borrow what I need or get help from someone else. Those prepared guys really were prepared for everything. I pretty much brought only the necessities, which was normally candy bars and chips. Hey, a kid had to eat.

  That was then though, and recently I have started to pay a little more attention to being prepared. See, this summer I really have developed a slight obsession with hiking. You would think as an adult I would pay more attention to safety and being prepared, but nope. The first time I went hiking it took me five hours to finish the trail and all I brought was a small bottle of Gatorade.

  Now that I have been to around 11 different parks and have seen how easy it is to get lost, being prepared is starting to enter my thoughts more and more. My main problem when it comes to being prepared for anything is, I like to travel light. Hence, carrying just a bottle of Gatorade. I know I should bring a few granola bars or PowerBars or pretzels or something that I can live off for a few days if I were to ever get lost. But like I said, I like to travel light.

  Not wanting to carry my own food left me with really only two options. One. I can bring someone with me and when we get lost I could eat them. Like in that movie, Alive. By the way, did anyone else notice that in the movie, the first thing they ate was the dead peoples butts. Gross. Two. I could study up and eat from Mother Nature's buffet. I hear she has an awesome salad bar.

  It took almost an entire weekend, but after checking out 13 books from the library and reading about half of them, I felt I could survive for months if fate should ever lead me astray. I was loaded with survival knowledge, but I am the type of person who forgets things pretty quickly if I don't practice what I learned.

  I didn't want to forget what I learned, so I asked some friends to blind fold me and drop me off deep in the middle of a forest. Granted the kidnapping me out of my bed and beating with socks full of soap wasn't something I requested they do, but I was told it added to the experience. My friends have a lot more experience with the outdoors than I do, so I went with it.


The Wild Corn Dog

  Being so deep in the forest without any way of contacting someone really had me nervous. Especially since I was having trouble finding any of the roots, bark, plants or bugs the guides told me would be edible. No worries. I figured I would just broaden my search. And after an hour or so of searching, near a lake I hit the jackpot.

  Remember when I said Mother Nature had one heck of a salad bar? Well, apparently that salad bar comes with a few meat items as well. Did you know corn dogs could be found in the wild? I didn't either and still wouldn't if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. The entire lake was surrounded by them. They grew on long stalks and gently blew back and forth in the breeze. Oh man, I could have eaten them all, but I didn't have any mustard. You can't eat a corn dog without mustard. It's just not right. So, instead of eating them, I just gathered a couple to bring home with me. I have them sitting on my counter in my kitchen. I was going to to put them in the refrigerator, but they weren't in one in the wild, and I wanted to eat them as I would there.

  I am slightly relieved to know that if I were to ever lose my way in some big forest or park that not only can I have to rely on plants and bugs to survive, but also wild corn dogs. During future hiking trips I will definitely keep an eye out for them. Who knows, I might even get lucky and find wild hamburgers or wild soft pretzels. Keeping my fingers crossed.

The Camping Drinking Game

  Let’s face it people. Camping in and of itself is fun. It’s a great chance to get away from the usual daily grind and relax with some friends.  And yes, do a little drinking. It seems everyone I know is either going camping soon or has already been. So with everyone getting back to nature, I kind of wanted to do my part to make their getaway even more fun. That’s when I remembered that while camping with my girlfriend, at one point in the night we mentioned how there should be a camping drinking game. So, fast forward to two days later, and here it is. I know there are other camping related drinking games out there, but I like to think mine is a little different. See in mine, not only do you take drinks but sometimes  there are actions you must complete as well.

  And with that out of the way I wish you happy camping. Don’t forget to print up a copy or two of the rules to bring with. By the way, for the next few weeks I will probably keep updating the rules. Cheers.

 RULES TO THE CAMPING DRINKING GAME

-  You and your friends have 30 minutes to get all your tents up.  If you can’t get them up in 30 minutes take a drink. And take a drink for every additional five minutes it takes to get them all up.

-  Last person to get his or her  air mattress inflated takes a drink. If you only have one air mattress to inflate the person wearing the most blue takes a drink.

-  The person who gathers the least amount of firewood takes a drink and must jump over the fire three times. If you have to buy your firewood, everyone takes a drink but the person who bought it.

-  Everyone gets five minutes to try and start the fire. If you can’t start it take a drink. Keep going until someone starts it, then that person can pick one other person to take two additional  drinks.

-  When someone says, “What was that?” that person takes a drink. If they say it 5 times total, then that person takes a drink and has to go see what was making the noise.

-  Every time someone makes a reference to the Friday the 13^th movies, that person takes a drink.

-  If you shine your flashlight in someone’s eyes, take a drink. You must allow the person you just flashed to put one strand of hair off your arm.

-  If you see a falling star everyone takes a drink

-  If you are roasting marshmallows and yours falls off the stick, you take a drink. Successful cook 5 marshmallows in a row and you may claim one marshmallow from any person you choose.

-  If you see any wild animal besides a bird you have to call out the name of the animal you saw in an English accent. The last person to call out the name of the animal has to drink and imitate the animals calls as he/she walks around the other camp grounds.

-  Every time you walk out of the bathroom and exclaim, ‘OMG!!!', everyone takes a drink.

-  Every time someone wishes they had a tv, everyone takes a drink.

-  The first person to put a hockey mask and a jump suit on and walk around the entire camp ground can pick two people to take three drinks. You may want to do your research before hand and make sure no one at the other campsites just came back from hunting.

-  Anyone with green on their underwear has to take two drinks then stand in the middle of their campsite and sing, “I’m a little tea pot”.

-  At midnight, the person with the most denim must take a drink.

-  Anyone who seems shocked that there are wild animals in the wild, has to take a drink.

-  The person who somehow manages to get out of cleaning or cooking anything has to take three drinks and bow down before everyone and say "I'm not worthy."

-  The person who tries to steal other peoples beers (you know the person I mean right) when caught has to chug the stolen beer.

-  Every time someone picks up a stick and spins it like a wanna be ninja, that person takes a drink.

-  Every time someone goes to use the bathroom, drink until they get back.

-  The first person to wake up must get the fire going or take a drink. No time limit this time, because if you are up after drinking so much, you deserve a break.

-  Every time you check Facebook or Twitter from your phone, take a drink.

-  Take one random drink at some point during the day.

-  Walk over to another campsite and start laughing like an evil super villain for three minutes. When done return to your own campsite where everyone must drink but the villain.

-  In a burping contest, the person with the weakest burp must drink and acknowledge the superior lungs of the other person in front of the group.

Monster at Devil's Lake

This is a photo I took at Devil's Lake when I was hiking.