What Not To Wear

  This weekend I am going to be Skyping with Pam's family. Which is kind of a big deal since I haven't met them yet. I really, really want to put a good foot forward and make a good first impression. The problem is, as you may all know, I have no fashion sense. Like 80% of my clothes are t-shirts and jeans. So, since they are here parents, I asked Pam to help me pick out some clothes. After all they are her parents. She should know what would impress them. After about five hours of searching my closet we (she) decided the best thing to do would be to just go buy a new outfit.

  Now, while I may not be able to tell you what to wear, I can definitely give you some examples of what not to put on.

  Below are some t-shirts Pam rejected immediately, tossed into a pile and told me to burn.

 

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo

  What to wear. What to wear.  I have a closet full of clothes and I can't choose an outfit to save my life.  Oh, what I wouldn't give for a fairy god mother and a little
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo right now.

  Here 's my problem. Tomorrow I leaave for the Andy Astronautalis concert and the only thing I've packed are my swim trunks and a pair of socks. Call me crazy but I think I might need just a few more things. The question is... What do I need.

  I've laid a few outfits on my bed, but nothing is grabbing me by the collar and slapping me across the face.  Which is kind of what I was counting on happening. After all,  we all know from previous posts that I'm no fashionista.

  Heck, I'm still on a epic quest to find a 'damn' pair of pants.  For those of you who don't know what that is... that's when you walk by a group of people and they all say 'damn',  because you look so good in your jeans.

  After spending a few hours trying to decide between the silk Spider-Man button up shirt or the one that looks a lot like something Charlie Sheen's character in Two and A Half Men would wear, I finally gave up and sought out some help.

  I called up a friend who told me to wear jeans and a polo shirt.  My brother recommended jeans and a tank top. My mom didn't really have any suggestions except for not to buy any  drugs from someone,  because she saw on a tv show that's what happens at concerts.

  Having exhausted friends and family for advice,  I turned toward the ultimate source in knowledge.  The internet. I figured why should I keep asking people who have never been to an Andy Astronautalis concert before what to wear when I could easily download a few pictures of people who actually have.  Then I can simply see what the people in the crowd are wearing. 

  Fast forward 10 pictures later... plaid and flannel.  That's what I saw a lot of in the pictures. I have plaid. Plaid I have, but I don't own any flannel.

  So I turned to the person I probably should have asked in the first place... my girlfriend.  And normally I would have. She is easily the most fashion conscious person I know. 

  The only reason I didn't immediately turn to her is I that I wanted her to be surprised when she saw me all dressed up and looking good. Maybe she might even think,  'My guy is so cute' or 'Dang, is he sexy '. But since I couldn't decide on an outfit, I decided I would rather look good than just show up and taking a chance of looking like a hot mess.

  Her answer: jeans and a t-shirt. Now that outfit I can easily do. Yes, I may not have the most flattering jeans but I do have a wide assortment of t-shirts to choose from. Everything from the plain colored tees to my whimsical graphic tees.

  (Looks in my closet for a few minutes.)

  Oh man. What t-shirt do I pick?