Showing posts with label Jason Voorhees. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jason Voorhees. Show all posts
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Down Economy Takes Toll On Summer Camps
Every day we hear about how people and businesses are still struggling through this difficult economy.
We see news reports about fathers and mothers begging on the streets for money so they can provide their children with just a few scraps of food before they put them to bed at night.
Newspapers and magazines show us pictures of factories that have been around for generations having to shut their doors for good.
These images evoke not only our deepest sympathies, but also serve to remind us of how lucky we are.
What these images and reports don't show is the whole story. Where are the pictures of the hockey masks and machetes just sitting on the store shelves collecting dust. How about the videos showing escaped mental patients speeding away in cars? Where are those at?
No where. That's where they are. People seem to forget that a down economy affects everyone. Even those who may not always be in the public eye.
I'm talking about those all to often over-looked summer camp killers. At one time landing a job as a summer camp killer paid as well as getting a job at some Fortune 500 companies... of course, that was close to 20 years ago. Now a summer camp killer is lucky to get minimum wage.
"It used to be that every summer camp in the United States and Canada had their very own summer camp killer," Jason Voorhees said, possibly the most famous summer camp killer in history. "Now, there are maybe 23 of left."
When the bottom fell out of the economy many summer camps were forced to cut their staff. The first to go were the life guards then nurses, camp counselors and finally the summer camp killers.
Some summer camps tried to hold onto their killers by trying to work out deals such as having the summer camp killer pay for his/her own tools. But machetes, drills, bow and arrows, etc. are just way to expensive to keep buying over and over again.
"I know when things got real bad some summer camp killers pooled their money to hire one summer camp killer who would spend just a week or two at each other camps," Jason explained. "Kind of like a time share summer camp killer."
While this method proved effective for a little bit, eventually these time share summer camp killers couldn't afford the high gas prices of driving from camp to camp.
Many summer camp killers were forced to seek other occupations such as McDonald's managers, sport store associates and politicians.
"Yeah, I'm still working as a summer camp killer but its definitely not like it was in the old days," Jason said starring wistfully out the at the lake he had drowned in all those years ago. "Now, I mostly just scare people which I feel isn't fair to them. They deserve better."
With the economy slowly starting to turn around maybe its not to crazy to hope that some day in the near future we will once again see summer camp killers trudging through the forests wildly swinging a machete or hiding under camp counselors beds.
What a glorious day that will be.
We see news reports about fathers and mothers begging on the streets for money so they can provide their children with just a few scraps of food before they put them to bed at night.
Newspapers and magazines show us pictures of factories that have been around for generations having to shut their doors for good.
These images evoke not only our deepest sympathies, but also serve to remind us of how lucky we are.
What these images and reports don't show is the whole story. Where are the pictures of the hockey masks and machetes just sitting on the store shelves collecting dust. How about the videos showing escaped mental patients speeding away in cars? Where are those at?
No where. That's where they are. People seem to forget that a down economy affects everyone. Even those who may not always be in the public eye.
 |
| Jason before the economy dropped |
I'm talking about those all to often over-looked summer camp killers. At one time landing a job as a summer camp killer paid as well as getting a job at some Fortune 500 companies... of course, that was close to 20 years ago. Now a summer camp killer is lucky to get minimum wage.
"It used to be that every summer camp in the United States and Canada had their very own summer camp killer," Jason Voorhees said, possibly the most famous summer camp killer in history. "Now, there are maybe 23 of left."
When the bottom fell out of the economy many summer camps were forced to cut their staff. The first to go were the life guards then nurses, camp counselors and finally the summer camp killers.
Some summer camps tried to hold onto their killers by trying to work out deals such as having the summer camp killer pay for his/her own tools. But machetes, drills, bow and arrows, etc. are just way to expensive to keep buying over and over again.
"I know when things got real bad some summer camp killers pooled their money to hire one summer camp killer who would spend just a week or two at each other camps," Jason explained. "Kind of like a time share summer camp killer."
While this method proved effective for a little bit, eventually these time share summer camp killers couldn't afford the high gas prices of driving from camp to camp.
Many summer camp killers were forced to seek other occupations such as McDonald's managers, sport store associates and politicians.
"Yeah, I'm still working as a summer camp killer but its definitely not like it was in the old days," Jason said starring wistfully out the at the lake he had drowned in all those years ago. "Now, I mostly just scare people which I feel isn't fair to them. They deserve better."
With the economy slowly starting to turn around maybe its not to crazy to hope that some day in the near future we will once again see summer camp killers trudging through the forests wildly swinging a machete or hiding under camp counselors beds.
What a glorious day that will be.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
The Last Lines - Friday the 13th Edition
As Fall gets closer and closer, I feel myself slipping into Halloween mode. When I walk through the grocery stores I feel my eyes drifting towards the aisles and aisles of Halloween candy. Now, instead of wanting a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I want a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup shaped like a pumpkin. My appetite isn't the only thing undergoing changes. Suddenly, my apartment doesn't look right unless I have Halloween Garland and little goofy figurines of monsters everywhere.
I'll just say it. Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. So, when I heard some friends discussing how cheesy the last line in some horror film was, it got me to thinking about the last lines in other movies. I checked a few movies out and what I found is some movies have awesome heart pumping last lines and others make you go, "Really? You really just said that?".
I've decided that during this wonderful season of leaves changing colors and cool nights, now and then I will bring you the last lines to some famous and a few not so famous horror films. And I figured there could be no better films to start with than those that make up the Friday the 13th franchise.
The first Friday the 13th movie (Yep, there's more than one.) was released in 1980. The series centers on Jason Voorhees, who drowned as a boy at Camp Crystal Lake due to the negligence of the camp staff. Decades later, the lake is rumored to be "cursed" and becomes the setting for a series of mass murders. A neat little fact, Jason didn't show up until the second movie. His mom did all the killing in the first one. Oh... um... spoilers.
The thing I like about the Friday the 13th movies is that the franchise is a perfect example of how last lines can run the gamete between super cheesy and to butt kicking awesome. You can decide which are which.
THE LAST LINES TO THE FRIDAY THE 13th MOVIES.
Friday the 13th
Cop: Ma'am we didn't find any boy.
Alice: But he...then he's still there.
Friday the 13th Part 4 The Final Chapter
Trish: (Seeing her brother as he enters the hospital room) Tommy.
Friday the 13th Part 5 A New Beginning
Pam: Oh my God.
Friday the 13th Part 6
Tommy: It’s over. It’s finally over. Jason’s home.
Friday the 13th Part 7 The New Blood
Nick: Jason? Where's Jason?
Tina: We took care of him.
Friday the 13th Part 8 Jason Takes Manhattan
Sean: I heard there's a statue here that's 22 stories tall.
Dog approaches
Rennie: Toby.
Friday the 13th Part 9 Jason Goes To Hell
Jessica: Go...To...Hell!
Steven: Oh no. (as Jason tried to pull him down.)
Friday the 13th Jason X
Jason plummets from space looking like a shooting star and crashes in a lake on an earth like planet
Girl: Look at that.
Boy: A shooting star. Make a wish.
Girl: It landed in the lake.
Boy: Let's go check it out
Freddy vs Jason
Lori: Welcome to my world, bitch!
Friday the 13th (reboot)
Whitney: Jason...Say hi to mommy...in hell.
I'll just say it. Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. So, when I heard some friends discussing how cheesy the last line in some horror film was, it got me to thinking about the last lines in other movies. I checked a few movies out and what I found is some movies have awesome heart pumping last lines and others make you go, "Really? You really just said that?".
I've decided that during this wonderful season of leaves changing colors and cool nights, now and then I will bring you the last lines to some famous and a few not so famous horror films. And I figured there could be no better films to start with than those that make up the Friday the 13th franchise.
The first Friday the 13th movie (Yep, there's more than one.) was released in 1980. The series centers on Jason Voorhees, who drowned as a boy at Camp Crystal Lake due to the negligence of the camp staff. Decades later, the lake is rumored to be "cursed" and becomes the setting for a series of mass murders. A neat little fact, Jason didn't show up until the second movie. His mom did all the killing in the first one. Oh... um... spoilers.
The thing I like about the Friday the 13th movies is that the franchise is a perfect example of how last lines can run the gamete between super cheesy and to butt kicking awesome. You can decide which are which.
THE LAST LINES TO THE FRIDAY THE 13th MOVIES.
Friday the 13th
Cop: Ma'am we didn't find any boy.
Alice: But he...then he's still there.
Friday the 13th Part 2
Ginny: Paul? Paul...Where's Paul?
Friday the 13th Part 3
Cop: She must have flipped out. The poor kid's been through hell. All of her friends...I'll take her
Chris: (Hysterical Sobbing) Aah! Ha ha ha ha!
Chris: (Hysterical Sobbing) Aah! Ha ha ha ha!
Friday the 13th Part 4 The Final Chapter
Trish: (Seeing her brother as he enters the hospital room) Tommy.
Friday the 13th Part 5 A New Beginning
Pam: Oh my God.
Friday the 13th Part 6
Tommy: It’s over. It’s finally over. Jason’s home.
Friday the 13th Part 7 The New Blood
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