5 Things You Will Never Hear The Pope Say

  1,  Last night my friends and I stole a bunch of my mom's tampons so we could tie them together and make kick butt nun

Ugh. I can't believe I said that.

chucks.

  2.  Come on Mtv. I'm sick of waiting for you to air new episodes of Teen Mom.

  3. I need to man scape more often.

  4.  Hey you. Hey you. Pull my finger and I promise to bless you.

  5.  So, last night I met this girl at the bar and then her boyfriend showed up. Things got real... fast.