Seriously, if one more person asks me what my New Year's resolutions are, I swear I'm going to scream. And not just regular old scream, I'm going to hit octaves that will make Mariah Carey go, "Damn!".
Of course, I made a few resolutions. Everyone makes them just not everyone talks about them. I try not to ask people what their resolutions are. To me, asking someone what their resolutions are is you basically telling that person there is something flawed about them and you are kind of just checking in to make sure they have a plan for correcting that flaw.
Sure I know I could use a little work here and there, who can't. Even that guy at my gym who looks like God himself painted on his abs could use a breath strip or two. Yeah, women may go crazy over your body, but what good is that if they are passing out when they get within a few inches of your face.
And when you think about it, resolutions aren't even all that interesting. I feel as if people are expecting me to say something super profound when they inquire about my resolutions, but they aren't. Take a second to recall all the resolutions you have heard. It's always things like 'trying to be a better person' or 'going to the gym more' or 'working less'.
By the way, the aforementioned revolutions are like the top three on my list. A few others on my list are to eat better, to stop photo-bombing at weddings and to try and read more. Really basic boring stuff. I hope by sharing a few of my resolutions people will no longer feel the need to constantly ask me what they are.
I'm sure people are probably saying to themselves, "Is that it". The answer is, of course that's not it. That is, however, all I feel like sharing with you for now. If there is stuff you think I missed, please feel free to email me jkoukas1@gmail.com about it. I'll compile all of your suggestions into a list and post it on Wednesday. Also, if feel like just saying something nice I'll post that too. Heck, if you have a few predictions for the upcoming year, I will post those too. Essentially, anything you send me, I will post.
Happy New Year everybody.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
Selfies Make Way For The Handsies
So, today I realized that...oops, one second, mirror. (Quickly pulls out camera, takes awesome selfie and posts picture to Instagram). Now, where was I? Oh yes. Today I realized everything has an expiration date. Milk, eggs, selfies. It doesn't matter. At some point, everything gets old and stale. Luckily, not everything needs to be thrown away, sometimes all it takes is a well thought out reboot.
And boy, have I come up with one heck of an idea.
Selfies. Webster's Dictionary describes selfies as... well, will you look at that. Webster's doesn't really seem to have any definition listed. I guess the chore of defining it falls upon me then doesn't it.
So, Would-Be Superhero defines selfie as the act of taking a picture of ones self with the purpose of posting the image on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter or Instagram. Also, selfies are normally taken with only three types of expressions: the kissy face, the whatever face and the 'I just inhaled three cups of coffee' can't stop smiling.
For a while selfies were pretty harmless and even a little cute. No one gave them a second thought and I think that is where things started to go bad. Rarely is a selfie on the receiving end of mean comment or suffered the fate of a 'dislike' click. They have been allowed to continue on unchecked. Selfies used to be simple. Just a picture of you holding your camera taken in your bathroom mirror. Over time that changed thanks to the rapidly evolving camera technology.
Now selfies are taken everywhere: at work, your car, a store or a park. And the amount of selfies on the social networking sites has grown 600% in the last year alone. People who used to happily click the 'like' button on a selfie are now deleting their social network accounts as a last ditch effort to save their sanity.
I believe selfies will continue to multiply and multiply unless something is done to stop them. Picture it like this. Selfies are like a rampaging Hulk, and the only thing that can stop a rampaging Hulk is another rampaging Hulk. That's why I am attempting to start the handsie craze.
The handsie is simply taking a picture of your hand doing different things. Which right off the bat makes it way more interesting than a selfie. A selfie is just a picture of your face, but the hand can be photographed doing so many things. It can write or throw a ball or 'flip the bird' or do sign language or just a simple thumbs up. I don't think people consider how expressive a hand can be.
I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I believe with your support and help, the handsie can become a real thing. I feel as the popularity of the handsie grows, so shall the reign of the selfie begin to diminish. Perhaps selfies do not need to completely go away, but only return to their simpler more peaceful origins.
And boy, have I come up with one heck of an idea.
Selfies. Webster's Dictionary describes selfies as... well, will you look at that. Webster's doesn't really seem to have any definition listed. I guess the chore of defining it falls upon me then doesn't it.
So, Would-Be Superhero defines selfie as the act of taking a picture of ones self with the purpose of posting the image on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter or Instagram. Also, selfies are normally taken with only three types of expressions: the kissy face, the whatever face and the 'I just inhaled three cups of coffee' can't stop smiling.
For a while selfies were pretty harmless and even a little cute. No one gave them a second thought and I think that is where things started to go bad. Rarely is a selfie on the receiving end of mean comment or suffered the fate of a 'dislike' click. They have been allowed to continue on unchecked. Selfies used to be simple. Just a picture of you holding your camera taken in your bathroom mirror. Over time that changed thanks to the rapidly evolving camera technology.
Now selfies are taken everywhere: at work, your car, a store or a park. And the amount of selfies on the social networking sites has grown 600% in the last year alone. People who used to happily click the 'like' button on a selfie are now deleting their social network accounts as a last ditch effort to save their sanity.
 |
| A handsie thumbs up |
The handsie is simply taking a picture of your hand doing different things. Which right off the bat makes it way more interesting than a selfie. A selfie is just a picture of your face, but the hand can be photographed doing so many things. It can write or throw a ball or 'flip the bird' or do sign language or just a simple thumbs up. I don't think people consider how expressive a hand can be.
I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I believe with your support and help, the handsie can become a real thing. I feel as the popularity of the handsie grows, so shall the reign of the selfie begin to diminish. Perhaps selfies do not need to completely go away, but only return to their simpler more peaceful origins.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
What To Get That Special Nerd (7 Things)
This holiday season did you discover that your significant other is a card carrying nerd? Did you not get the right present and now want to rush out and try to set things straight, but you are having trouble deciding what to get for that special nerd in your life? Do you think Star Wars and Star Trek are the same thing? Were you surprised to hear that they still make comic books, and that they were being made into movies? When that special nerd asks you to watch Doctor Who, do you think he/she is trying to pull an Abbott and Costello routine on you?
For some reason people seem to think shopping for a nerd is difficult, when in fact, we are probably the easiest people you will ever shop for. We are rarely picky, and love simple, fun things that we can either display or play with everyday. For instance, if someone was to give me a nice suit, I definitely appreciate it and wear it a few times a year. However, if someone gave me the same type of sonic screwdriver used by Matt Smith, my poor little nerd brain would explode.
If you have spent the last three weeks trying to decide what to get and still feel lost, don't worry. I'm here to help. Because you seem to care so much about that nerd in your life, I have decided I would comb the internet for you and find some of this years hottest gifts for nerds. I also threw a few in that I really like. Oh, and these are in no particular order of coolness or what have you. It's all good.
1. DVD Box Sets
Nerds are normally a fairly busy people who have a limited amount of free time. And the majority of that free time is spent in front of a television set either with friends or by ourselves. We tend to gravitate towards television shows because then we have the choice of watching just one or two episodes before bed or gathering together with our friends and consuming an entire season in one day. Here's a few suggestions: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Doctor Who, Firefly, Primeval, Downtown Abbey, Merlin, Battlestar Galactica, etc.
2. The Jedi Bath Robe
One size fits all. Price: $63.00
Is your significant other always trying to move things using their mind or pretending your dog is the emperor of an evil empire? If so, they may have dreams of someday becoming a Jedi. Help them achieve their goal by getting them some awesome Jedi apparel. Starting with this super soft and comfy Jedi Bath Robe.
3. Samurai Ninja Umbrella
Price: $19.79
Your nerd may not be much of a fighter, but no one else needs to know that. At the first sign of trouble all he/she has to do is show of the handle of this umbrella which is designed to look like the handle of a samurai sword. No one messes with ninja. It's just common sense.
4. Math Clock
Price: $23.00
Have you ever wondered which one of your friends you should ask when you have a math question? This clock will help you figure it out. Only the highest level of mathletes will be able to figure out these equations. And not only does this clock look cool, but it will make people think you are way smarter than you really are.
5. Sonic Screwdriver
Price: $25.00 - $34.00
Does your nerd love to fix things? Computers, doors, tables...anything. Then give them the ultimate all purpose tool, the Sonic Screwdriver. Okay, so this replica really only lights up and makes sounds. It's still pretty cool. Which makes it a must have for any Doctor Who fan. My favorite is the Matt Smith version.
6. Nyan Cat T-Shirt
Price: $20.00
Nyan cat is a hugely popular Internet meme and it is one of those things that all nerds really love because knowing about it defines you as a true Internet nerd. Everyone may not get it, but they will definitely ask you about it. And who doesn't want a little extra attention.
7. Bane Mask
Price: $200.00
No gift exchange can be complete without a little something Batman. Although, not everyone is going to end up buying a present with the Batman logo on it. I suggest getting something a little more bad ass, such as Bane's Mask. Imagine Christmas dinner with the family while wearing Bane's mask. Won't no one refuse to pass you the mashed potatoes then, yo.
For some reason people seem to think shopping for a nerd is difficult, when in fact, we are probably the easiest people you will ever shop for. We are rarely picky, and love simple, fun things that we can either display or play with everyday. For instance, if someone was to give me a nice suit, I definitely appreciate it and wear it a few times a year. However, if someone gave me the same type of sonic screwdriver used by Matt Smith, my poor little nerd brain would explode.
If you have spent the last three weeks trying to decide what to get and still feel lost, don't worry. I'm here to help. Because you seem to care so much about that nerd in your life, I have decided I would comb the internet for you and find some of this years hottest gifts for nerds. I also threw a few in that I really like. Oh, and these are in no particular order of coolness or what have you. It's all good.
1. DVD Box Sets Nerds are normally a fairly busy people who have a limited amount of free time. And the majority of that free time is spent in front of a television set either with friends or by ourselves. We tend to gravitate towards television shows because then we have the choice of watching just one or two episodes before bed or gathering together with our friends and consuming an entire season in one day. Here's a few suggestions: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Doctor Who, Firefly, Primeval, Downtown Abbey, Merlin, Battlestar Galactica, etc.
2. The Jedi Bath Robe
One size fits all. Price: $63.00
Is your significant other always trying to move things using their mind or pretending your dog is the emperor of an evil empire? If so, they may have dreams of someday becoming a Jedi. Help them achieve their goal by getting them some awesome Jedi apparel. Starting with this super soft and comfy Jedi Bath Robe.
3. Samurai Ninja Umbrella
Price: $19.79
Your nerd may not be much of a fighter, but no one else needs to know that. At the first sign of trouble all he/she has to do is show of the handle of this umbrella which is designed to look like the handle of a samurai sword. No one messes with ninja. It's just common sense.
4. Math Clock Price: $23.00
Have you ever wondered which one of your friends you should ask when you have a math question? This clock will help you figure it out. Only the highest level of mathletes will be able to figure out these equations. And not only does this clock look cool, but it will make people think you are way smarter than you really are.
5. Sonic ScrewdriverPrice: $25.00 - $34.00
Does your nerd love to fix things? Computers, doors, tables...anything. Then give them the ultimate all purpose tool, the Sonic Screwdriver. Okay, so this replica really only lights up and makes sounds. It's still pretty cool. Which makes it a must have for any Doctor Who fan. My favorite is the Matt Smith version.
6. Nyan Cat T-ShirtPrice: $20.00
Nyan cat is a hugely popular Internet meme and it is one of those things that all nerds really love because knowing about it defines you as a true Internet nerd. Everyone may not get it, but they will definitely ask you about it. And who doesn't want a little extra attention.
7. Bane MaskPrice: $200.00
No gift exchange can be complete without a little something Batman. Although, not everyone is going to end up buying a present with the Batman logo on it. I suggest getting something a little more bad ass, such as Bane's Mask. Imagine Christmas dinner with the family while wearing Bane's mask. Won't no one refuse to pass you the mashed potatoes then, yo.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Liar. Liar. World Not On Fire
What the... Why am I waking up? I shouldn't be waking up. Um... I kind of thought the world was supposed to end. This isn't right. Maybe the world did end, but somehow I am the only one who survived. Something is not right here. I need to go check some stuff out, I'll be back in a little bit.
Okay, so it appears the world really did not end. Not to say it won't succumb to some apocalyptic event later in the day, but for now everything is hunky dory. Which is good. I mean, it's not like I did anything crazy last night. Um..FYI, if you happen to read any articles in the newspaper about someone streaking up and down the streets scream-singing Jingle Bells or someone rearranging Christmas lights to spell out dirty words, I just want to say let's not judge that person. Maybe he or she thought the world was ending and went a little bit crazy. Maybe that same person didn't even pay their rent, but instead bought their own body weight in holiday themed Peeps. Who are we to judge.
I, for one, never really put much into these doomsday prophecies. After all, there's a new end of the world scare at least once a month. Even this one, the supposedly honest to goodness prophecy that everyone has been talking about for over a year, I didn't believe. Although, after the huge blizzard that hit us yesterday, I kind of thought...well, maybe there is some truth to the whole thing. Well, apparently not.
With only half the day left I was starting to get worried. Hope all I want, I don't think this apocalypse is coming. Stupid unreliable thing. I figured I might as well just write my rent check out and take it in, but before I could finish the first letter in the name of the rental company I remembered something. About two weeks ago, a person of Mayan decent moved in below me.
I quickly ran downstairs and began pounding on his door. We have maybe said hi to each other twice in the hall, but that's about it. When he finally opened his door, I said hello and laid out maybe question of when the world was going to end. He seemed a little offended that I was asking him this, but after a little light pushing, he shared his secret ancient knowledge.
"Don't blame us," Ted said. "We didn't say the world was going to end. We just got sick of making calenders. You do realize we made a calender that extended almost 5,000 years into our own future. You try making a calender that far out. Eventually no one wanted the job anymore so we just quit. We figured we would just make some more after the 5,000 years was up."
With that and a brief but stern request that I "stomping around", I went back to my apartment to finish writing out that rent check. I guess it's a good thing the world isn't ending, but I will say this. Next time someone comes around with some doomsday prophecy, I am out. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, the freaking world better end.
Okay, so it appears the world really did not end. Not to say it won't succumb to some apocalyptic event later in the day, but for now everything is hunky dory. Which is good. I mean, it's not like I did anything crazy last night. Um..FYI, if you happen to read any articles in the newspaper about someone streaking up and down the streets scream-singing Jingle Bells or someone rearranging Christmas lights to spell out dirty words, I just want to say let's not judge that person. Maybe he or she thought the world was ending and went a little bit crazy. Maybe that same person didn't even pay their rent, but instead bought their own body weight in holiday themed Peeps. Who are we to judge.
I, for one, never really put much into these doomsday prophecies. After all, there's a new end of the world scare at least once a month. Even this one, the supposedly honest to goodness prophecy that everyone has been talking about for over a year, I didn't believe. Although, after the huge blizzard that hit us yesterday, I kind of thought...well, maybe there is some truth to the whole thing. Well, apparently not.
With only half the day left I was starting to get worried. Hope all I want, I don't think this apocalypse is coming. Stupid unreliable thing. I figured I might as well just write my rent check out and take it in, but before I could finish the first letter in the name of the rental company I remembered something. About two weeks ago, a person of Mayan decent moved in below me.
I quickly ran downstairs and began pounding on his door. We have maybe said hi to each other twice in the hall, but that's about it. When he finally opened his door, I said hello and laid out maybe question of when the world was going to end. He seemed a little offended that I was asking him this, but after a little light pushing, he shared his secret ancient knowledge.
"Don't blame us," Ted said. "We didn't say the world was going to end. We just got sick of making calenders. You do realize we made a calender that extended almost 5,000 years into our own future. You try making a calender that far out. Eventually no one wanted the job anymore so we just quit. We figured we would just make some more after the 5,000 years was up."
With that and a brief but stern request that I "stomping around", I went back to my apartment to finish writing out that rent check. I guess it's a good thing the world isn't ending, but I will say this. Next time someone comes around with some doomsday prophecy, I am out. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, the freaking world better end.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Routines Are Anything But Routine
Have you ever said, 'good morning' to someone only to have them growl and stare back at you with two beady black orbs that are just a swirling matrix of rage and pure hate.
If this happened to you, don't worry. It's not your fault. It just means one of two things happened to that person. Either they truly are not a 'morning peron' and didn't get that all important cup of coffee, or the other possibility is that someone/thing interrupted or threw off their morning routine.
I know it seems strange, but according to Psychology America, a person who's morning routine has been interrupted can experience feelings far beyond that of the most extreme case of road rage.
In fact, I believe it was the great Greek philosopher, Socrates, who truly captured how it feels. He said, "having your morning routine disturbed is like being tripped by your best friend, having him steal your ice cream cone and then kick you in the stomach"... Then again, it might have been Aristotle.
Whoever it was, I completely agree. Although, it could be that the reason I so adamantly agree with it is because I also have a very structured morning routine.
My morning routine goes something like this.
1) Wake up
2) Lay in bed reading texts and emails (max 10 minutes)
3) Make my bladder happy
4) Put in my contacts
5) Shave
6) Shower
7) Take care of my lizard
8) Pack up my backpack
9) Leave
Every now and then there is one or two extra things that pop up, but 1 - 9 are pretty much my Monday through Friday routine. I have a routine only because I am a super forgetful person, and by following a routine, I can be about 90 percent sure I didn't forget my house keys on the kitchen table.
When it comes to my routine, I don't like surprises. Especially, in the morning. I feel that if one thing in the morning gets thrown off, I'll be playing catch up for the rest of the day. And there is no better example of this than the situation I recently found myself in.
It was Monday morning and I was already walking that line between being behind and having a minute to spare. Like the wind, I flew down the steps leading to the parking garage. That is until while rounding the corner to the last flight of steps, I nearly plowed over some guy hanging out on the top step.
My initial thought upon bumping into him and knocking him back a few steps was, "Oh crap, is this guy a cop". It seems that even though I barely recognized there was a person in front of me, I some how managed to notice that he was wearing a uniform of some type. Which made me want to get away from him even faster, but alas, that was not to be. Instead, he just began asking me a ba-jillion questions about the people in the apartment complex. Yeah, there was nothing creepy or strange about that.
Ten minutes. Ten minutes that little encounter took, and that was more than enough time to throw off my entire morning routine. The worse part was after all that time and questions, I had no clue to why he was hanging out in the stairwells of my apartment. Heck, I wasn't even sure who he was. All I could make out from his uniform was that it belonged to some security company.
Given that my whole day was off, I didn't really give much thought to the who and why of the security guard mystery. I was okay with just referring to him as "the dick who messed up my day" to my friends.
Sadly, that was not to be our only encounter. Over the next three days, we bumped into each other a total of five times. It didn't matter what route I took from my apartment down to the parking garage. Somehow he always found me. I asked other people in the building if they knew who the security guard guy was or what he was doing wandering the halls of our building, but no one knew who I was talking about. Great. By the end of the fourth day, I was pretty much convinced the security guard guy was really some supernatural creature hell bent on haunting me like in the movie, The Grudge.
I felt I was out of options until my girlfriend recommended I just email the rental company in charge of the building and ask them if they knew what was going on. So, I did. I explained to them, that for the last five days, I had been stopped by some security guard guy and asked a bunch of random questions. I also informed them that every time this happened I had been late for work, and that couldn't keep happening. I ended my email with two simple questions. I asked, "What is he doing just hanging out in the stairwells" and "How long would he be here".
The next day I awoke to an email from my rental company simply saying that they had hired him to be in the building for a few days. There was no explanation as to why he was there or what he was looking for or how long he would be there. Whatever. I was ready for the guy today.
See, I set my alarm ten minutes earlier than normal. I was ready for him. The security guard guy's questioning of me normally lasted from 7 to 10 minutes. As long as he didn't go over ten minutes, my routine wouldn't have to suffer.
In a shocking turn of events, I was able to go from my apartment to the parking garage without being stopped once. It was so shocking, in fact, that I ended up exploring each and every stairwell in my building looking for the guy. Nothing. No sign of him. He had disappeared just as mysteriously as he had arrived. Which is fine, because I was to the point that if he manage to throw off my routine again, I might have lost it.
With my routine back to normal, I realized not only was I becoming much nicer and happier, but also more willing to just help people out in general. I'm sure there is some lesson about how as a society we are to busy and don't take time enough to slow down and enjoy things, but if was looking to learn something I would watch an ABC After School Special.
All I cared about was that the alleged security guard guy was gone. For now that was enough. I worry about slowing down and smelling the proverbial rose... OH FRAK! I'M LATE...
If this happened to you, don't worry. It's not your fault. It just means one of two things happened to that person. Either they truly are not a 'morning peron' and didn't get that all important cup of coffee, or the other possibility is that someone/thing interrupted or threw off their morning routine.
I know it seems strange, but according to Psychology America, a person who's morning routine has been interrupted can experience feelings far beyond that of the most extreme case of road rage.
In fact, I believe it was the great Greek philosopher, Socrates, who truly captured how it feels. He said, "having your morning routine disturbed is like being tripped by your best friend, having him steal your ice cream cone and then kick you in the stomach"... Then again, it might have been Aristotle.
Whoever it was, I completely agree. Although, it could be that the reason I so adamantly agree with it is because I also have a very structured morning routine.
My morning routine goes something like this.
1) Wake up
2) Lay in bed reading texts and emails (max 10 minutes)
3) Make my bladder happy
4) Put in my contacts
5) Shave
6) Shower
7) Take care of my lizard
8) Pack up my backpack
9) Leave
Every now and then there is one or two extra things that pop up, but 1 - 9 are pretty much my Monday through Friday routine. I have a routine only because I am a super forgetful person, and by following a routine, I can be about 90 percent sure I didn't forget my house keys on the kitchen table.
When it comes to my routine, I don't like surprises. Especially, in the morning. I feel that if one thing in the morning gets thrown off, I'll be playing catch up for the rest of the day. And there is no better example of this than the situation I recently found myself in.
It was Monday morning and I was already walking that line between being behind and having a minute to spare. Like the wind, I flew down the steps leading to the parking garage. That is until while rounding the corner to the last flight of steps, I nearly plowed over some guy hanging out on the top step.
My initial thought upon bumping into him and knocking him back a few steps was, "Oh crap, is this guy a cop". It seems that even though I barely recognized there was a person in front of me, I some how managed to notice that he was wearing a uniform of some type. Which made me want to get away from him even faster, but alas, that was not to be. Instead, he just began asking me a ba-jillion questions about the people in the apartment complex. Yeah, there was nothing creepy or strange about that.
Ten minutes. Ten minutes that little encounter took, and that was more than enough time to throw off my entire morning routine. The worse part was after all that time and questions, I had no clue to why he was hanging out in the stairwells of my apartment. Heck, I wasn't even sure who he was. All I could make out from his uniform was that it belonged to some security company.
Given that my whole day was off, I didn't really give much thought to the who and why of the security guard mystery. I was okay with just referring to him as "the dick who messed up my day" to my friends.
Sadly, that was not to be our only encounter. Over the next three days, we bumped into each other a total of five times. It didn't matter what route I took from my apartment down to the parking garage. Somehow he always found me. I asked other people in the building if they knew who the security guard guy was or what he was doing wandering the halls of our building, but no one knew who I was talking about. Great. By the end of the fourth day, I was pretty much convinced the security guard guy was really some supernatural creature hell bent on haunting me like in the movie, The Grudge.
I felt I was out of options until my girlfriend recommended I just email the rental company in charge of the building and ask them if they knew what was going on. So, I did. I explained to them, that for the last five days, I had been stopped by some security guard guy and asked a bunch of random questions. I also informed them that every time this happened I had been late for work, and that couldn't keep happening. I ended my email with two simple questions. I asked, "What is he doing just hanging out in the stairwells" and "How long would he be here".
The next day I awoke to an email from my rental company simply saying that they had hired him to be in the building for a few days. There was no explanation as to why he was there or what he was looking for or how long he would be there. Whatever. I was ready for the guy today.
See, I set my alarm ten minutes earlier than normal. I was ready for him. The security guard guy's questioning of me normally lasted from 7 to 10 minutes. As long as he didn't go over ten minutes, my routine wouldn't have to suffer.
In a shocking turn of events, I was able to go from my apartment to the parking garage without being stopped once. It was so shocking, in fact, that I ended up exploring each and every stairwell in my building looking for the guy. Nothing. No sign of him. He had disappeared just as mysteriously as he had arrived. Which is fine, because I was to the point that if he manage to throw off my routine again, I might have lost it.
With my routine back to normal, I realized not only was I becoming much nicer and happier, but also more willing to just help people out in general. I'm sure there is some lesson about how as a society we are to busy and don't take time enough to slow down and enjoy things, but if was looking to learn something I would watch an ABC After School Special.
All I cared about was that the alleged security guard guy was gone. For now that was enough. I worry about slowing down and smelling the proverbial rose... OH FRAK! I'M LATE...
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Snapple Facts
The highlight of most of my days is getting my Real Facts text from Snapple. Sometimes they are just okay, but lately they have been pretty good. So, I thought I would share a few of them with you guys. I will admit that there are a few I called "shenanigans" on. Tell me what you think.
# 880 The Venus flytrap can eat a whole cheeseburger.
# 881 A baby caribou can outrun its mother at 3 days old.
# 882 In 1859, 24 rabbits were released in Australia. Within 6 years, the population grew to 2 million.
# 883 Butterflies taste with their hind feet.
# 884 a strand from the web of a golden spider is as strong as a steel wire of the same size.
# 885 Vultures can fly for six hours without flapping their wings.
# 886 The bumblebee bat is the smallest mammal on Earth. It weighs less than a penny.
# 887: The "Valley of Square Trees" in Panama is the only known place in the world where trees have rectangular trunks
# 888 In some cultures' telling of Snow White, The Dwarfs are thieves.
# 889 The original Cinderella was Egyptian and wore fur slippers.
# 890 The number 1 or the word One appears on The dollar bill 16 times.
# 881 A baby caribou can outrun its mother at 3 days old.
# 882 In 1859, 24 rabbits were released in Australia. Within 6 years, the population grew to 2 million.
# 883 Butterflies taste with their hind feet.
# 884 a strand from the web of a golden spider is as strong as a steel wire of the same size.
# 885 Vultures can fly for six hours without flapping their wings.
# 886 The bumblebee bat is the smallest mammal on Earth. It weighs less than a penny.
# 887: The "Valley of Square Trees" in Panama is the only known place in the world where trees have rectangular trunks
# 888 In some cultures' telling of Snow White, The Dwarfs are thieves.
# 889 The original Cinderella was Egyptian and wore fur slippers.
# 890 The number 1 or the word One appears on The dollar bill 16 times.
Monday, December 3, 2012
FedEx Driver Has Innocence Crushed
Today I learned you should definitely be careful who you around when declaring there is no Santa Claus. I was always careful around children, because I didn't want to be the monster who destroys a child's dreams and belief in magic.
What I found out today is you have to be careful what adults you say there is no Santa around as well. At work, I was talking to a co-worker as we waited for the FedEx driver to unload a pallet of floor tiling weighing about 2,800 pounds. Somehow we got on to the subject of Christmas and nieces and nephews, and I mentioned that next year my brother was thinking of telling my niece that Santa Claus isn't real.
Suddenly, the FedEx driver shout out, "What do you mean 'There is no Santa Claus!'".
We both thought he was joking, but after five minutes of the FedEx driver telling us we were lying and that we were both monsters, he jumped into his truck and sped away. The pallet of floor tiles on the back tipped off and shattered all over the ground. When I looked up, the driver was getting back on the street with his middle finger extended out the window at us.
It took about three hours to clean up the mess, and taught me the important lesson that unless someone brings it up first, Santa Claus is real no matter what.
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