I have never been a fan of malls. They are crowded, the stores never have anything cool and the food court is fairly disappointing. I mean come on, whatever happened to the giant cookie stand.
It has been a while since I went anywhere near the mall, but I had a formal dinner event coming up soon and I needed some neon pink socks. I figure American Eagle or the Buckle would have some, so that's where I was on my to. However, just as I left the food court, I heard some screaming and cussing coming from Easter Land.
I wasn't sure what to expect, but a few thoughts danced around my head. Perhaps some parent wanted one too many pictures of the Easter Bunny and the guy in the costume had had about enough. Maybe some kid wet himself while sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap and out of rage the Easter Bunny gave the kid an atomic wedgie. I even entertained the notion that a gang of leprechauns had been hired by Santa to "take out the bunny", Sopranos style
What I didn't expect to see were two 20somethings, beating the jelly beans out of the Easter Bunny. I . tried to listen to hear what they were saying, but all I could make out was one of the guys yelling, "Snoggins" over and over.
I thought of trying to help out the Easter Bunny, maybe even up the odds a bit, but then I realized all he brings me is basket full of candy. Seriously, just candy? Frak that! At least Santa leaves me Best Buy gift cards. Besides what could one man do against two attackers. I mean, the pretty much beat the Easter Bunny into the ground. So, I did what any good citizen would do. I pulled out my cell phone, pretended to dial some random numbers and acted like I was talking to my girlfriend.
When I was a few feet away from Easter Land, I heard someone shout, "Stop or I will light you up like a Christmas tree." Maybe my Santa theory wasn't too far off.
Later that day I found out that someone did call the police in hopes of helping the Easter Bunny. When the officer showed up he gave his warning, and then without hesitation fired the taser. What people didn't know was the officer had a huge fear of rabbits, so when he saw the six foot Easter Bunny, he panicked.
I felt bad for the Easter Bunny, but I will admit, my trip to the mall was definitely not boring. And I did get my socks. Thanks to all the commotion I was able to walk in and walk right out. I even left and I.O.U. at the cash register. Oh, and if you are wondering what happened to the two guys who started the whole thing. They were given jobs as Security Elves for Santa.
I thought of trying to help out the Easter Bunny, maybe even up the odds a bit, but then I realized all he brings me is basket full of candy. Seriously, just candy? Frak that! At least Santa leaves me Best Buy gift cards. Besides what could one man do against two attackers. I mean, the pretty much beat the Easter Bunny into the ground. So, I did what any good citizen would do. I pulled out my cell phone, pretended to dial some random numbers and acted like I was talking to my girlfriend.
When I was a few feet away from Easter Land, I heard someone shout, "Stop or I will light you up like a Christmas tree." Maybe my Santa theory wasn't too far off.
Later that day I found out that someone did call the police in hopes of helping the Easter Bunny. When the officer showed up he gave his warning, and then without hesitation fired the taser. What people didn't know was the officer had a huge fear of rabbits, so when he saw the six foot Easter Bunny, he panicked.
I felt bad for the Easter Bunny, but I will admit, my trip to the mall was definitely not boring. And I did get my socks. Thanks to all the commotion I was able to walk in and walk right out. I even left and I.O.U. at the cash register. Oh, and if you are wondering what happened to the two guys who started the whole thing. They were given jobs as Security Elves for Santa.
