Sunday, August 31, 2014
Science Makes Amazing Leap In Weight Loss
As I sit here and peck out yet another daffy blog post while watching the Matrix for the first time, I can't help but think about all the huge leaps in technological advancement I have been lucky enough to bare witness to. Although, I suppose my parents probably thought the same thing as they were growing up and I'm sure my kids will feel the same way.
Thanks to technology I can now lean back in a chair and marvel at the beautiful Las Vegas skyline with my computer on my lap opposed to a few decades ago when the parts for just one computer would take up entire building floors.
I think it is safe to say that all the advancements in technology have definitely had a huge impact on my life. They have affected how I listen to music, watch tv and movies, play games, communicate and share with other people and most importantly how I maintain my health.
The thing is, with all these advancements, you would think by now that nothing could surprise me. Well, if that's what you think then you allow me to introduce you to Garcinia Cambogia, the latest in weight loss pills.
Like I do when I see any of these supposed weight loss scams, I rolled my eyes and groaned at the idea of some poor insecure person shelling out good money with the belief that taking a few of these pills will morph them into the next Bar Refaeli or Brad Pitt.
However, being the type of person who doesn't like to mock what he doesn't understand, I continued to read up on all the information there was on Garcinia Cambogia. Which wasn't all that much.
The investigations that were conducted upon this new super weight loss pill read like the owners manual for an Ikea entertainment center. I couldn't make heads or tails about what I was looking at. I picked up bits and pieces, but the scientific double talk was way beyond what I could understand. There was stuff about converting your bodies cells into little fat burning furnace's and hyper weight loss and absorption of fat, but that was all I understood.
Instead, I decided to forgo the agonizing mumbo jumbo and go right to the before and after pictures. That would tell me everything I needed to know. And what it told me was science has once again pushed the envelope and as usual it might have gone just a little to far.
So, what is Garcinia Cambogia? According to the before and after pictures it is a drug that doesn't so much help you lose weight as it does redistribute that weight to more desired areas. In other words, it turns your breasts into giant (or average sized) fat magnets.
Here's an example of just how effective Garcinia Cambogia is and what it does.
However, being the type of person who doesn't like to mock what he doesn't understand, I continued to read up on all the information there was on Garcinia Cambogia. Which wasn't all that much.
The investigations that were conducted upon this new super weight loss pill read like the owners manual for an Ikea entertainment center. I couldn't make heads or tails about what I was looking at. I picked up bits and pieces, but the scientific double talk was way beyond what I could understand. There was stuff about converting your bodies cells into little fat burning furnace's and hyper weight loss and absorption of fat, but that was all I understood.
Instead, I decided to forgo the agonizing mumbo jumbo and go right to the before and after pictures. That would tell me everything I needed to know. And what it told me was science has once again pushed the envelope and as usual it might have gone just a little to far.
So, what is Garcinia Cambogia? According to the before and after pictures it is a drug that doesn't so much help you lose weight as it does redistribute that weight to more desired areas. In other words, it turns your breasts into giant (or average sized) fat magnets.
Here's an example of just how effective Garcinia Cambogia is and what it does.
As you can see. The woman didn't lose any actual weight. All those extra pounds were just absorbed right into her breasts.
Plastic surgeons were the first medical professionals to come forward to denounce the drug, but others are saying this is more out fear than anything to do with actual medical concerns. After all, from what I have been told, when women lose weight their breasts tend to also get smaller. But... if losing weight not only lead to a smaller body but larger breasts then those same plastic surgeons would be out of jobs. So, I guess you can see why they might be worried.
The biggest questions I have is, How would this affect men? Would our pecks get bigger or would something else? Would even be effective on men? And if it only works on women I would question who actually developed this drug. Was it some Big Farm company or was it Hugh Hefner in attempt to ensure his magazine never runs of a supply of models?
In the name of science I might give this drug a try. I could certainly stand to lose a few pounds. I will admit I am a little worried that I might develop a set of breasts though. If that happened I'm sure I wouldn't be able to keep my job in the factory anymore. Not with the guys I work with. I don't think I could handle all those stares. MY EYES ARE UP HERE, GUYS! On the bright side, maybe I could get a job modeling for one of those magazines.
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